New Zealand Conservative

Stolen shamelessly from CoNZervative , a new commercial where the old Spock squares off against the new Spock. At the end of it, you are supposed to buy an Audi. Or maybe a Mercedes. Or maybe watch The Hobbit. Can't remember, I was distracted by just how sneaky those Vulcans can be. LLAP:

The dead have a pretty cushy life. For starters, they don't work (I'm generalizing) and they don't pay tax. According to many, the dead still get to vote, they don't have to pay local body rates, and they seem immune to CPI increases in food. The more I look into it, the more it makes sense to be dead, well, at least for tax purposes. There is precedent of course. Hotblack Desiato , guitar keyboard player of the rock group Disaster Area was dead for tax purposes, and relied on a death-support system to keep him that way. Many famous entertainers ( Gerard Depardieu , Pink Floyd , The Two Ronnies ) move overseas and as far as their home country is concerned, are dead for tax purposes. Now some people might counter that being dead has downsides. For example, whilst they often receive benefits for years after the actual event of the death, they are not entitled to collect benefits. Does the legislation actually specify the condition of being alive in order to rec...

Talk on Stuff about changing the emergency phone number to something other than 111 reminded me of the clip above from The I.T Crowd :) Enjoy!

A doctor, an engineer and a politician had a bet as to which of their respective professions came first. The Doctor said " God removed a rib from Adam while he slept to create Eve, that is clearly a surgical procedure therefore medicine came first. I win " The Engineer spoke up " Before God created Adam he created the Universe, the Sun and the Earth from the Chaos, that would be a fine feat of engineering, surely I win " " And who do you suppose created the Chaos? " said the politician pocketing the money, " It's obvious I win ". " And who do you suppose created the Chaos? " said the politician pocketing the money, " It's obvious I win ". Mouseover to see what the politician said    

Oil has been discovered off the coast of Tauranga near a reasonably accessible reef. So far, hundreds of tons of oil has been extracted and could be sold on the open market for a tidy sum. A new business venture is seeking investors in order to manufacture low lying reefs, and disperse them around busy harbours to capture more oil. Gareth Hughes of the NZ Green Party has called for a moratorium on deep sea drilling until this alternate business opportunity can be fully investigated. Related: Our Worst Disaster (Satire)

This has to be the funniest thing I've read in a while: A view from Beijing

I like to think that I have a good sense of humour. I guess everyone likes to think they do. Mine can be a bit off-the-wall sometimes, I do admit, but I've wondered lately and have to ask: do people find the comedy shows on TV now actually, well ... funny? I've tried to watch a couple lately and have seen the ads on TV for Two And A Half Men, Gary Unmarried,  and their ilk. American comedy seems to be very unfunny these days and almost totally based on sexual innuendo. Why is that? As kids we used to laugh at things to do with bodily functions, but shouldn't we have grown out of that by now? It's just LAME to me watching Charlie Sheen trying to score with all the women he can and making sexual retorts about it to a young kid. So, I thought I'd try cartoons. The Simpsons always used to be good for a laugh, but what about Family Guy, American Dad, and the rest of C4's animated lineup? I tried to watch some Family Guy, but again, it seemed very unfunny. And as ...

This is STILL funny to me every time I watch it. I remember seeing somewhere that Frank Oz (Burt) said the most fun he ever had in working with the Muppets was when he was playing Burt next to Jim Henson's Ernie.

I wonder if young people are saying "That BP is so irresponsible - they need to get their act together like Exxon"? If this crisis goes another 30 days, or the spill drifts another 3,000 kilometers (which ever comes first) it will be time for an oil change and a tune up. And the jokes are coming as thick and fast as the oil, even if they are a bit crude. I've pulled a few of the slick ones here on the blog, but pump the link at the bottom for more.

I'm not a sports fan, but I saw this image on the net which made me think of the English.

North Korea, The Restaurant, and a movie. Groundhog Day! No seriously, that's the movie tonight. And what else could be more appropriate for a small dash of meta humour?

Tonight's Saturday Night Feature is a movie called "A Fistful of Yen", an action packed martial arts saga of classic proportions. But first, a song: "The Humans Are Dead"

A bit of French and Saunders and Tolkien?

Who will blink first? The Irishman or the Destroyer Captain?

This billboard has appeared at the side of the I-35 in Wyoming Minnesota. Dubya has been out of office for just thirteen months now but he is starting to become a mythological figure - something I suspected might happen. And no, it is not a photoshop .

On TBR : "A groundbreaking study of sea levels on the Israeli coast has revealed dramatic ups and downs repeatedly over the past 2,500 years." Seems the Mediterranean has been up and down by several metres more often than Al Gore at an award ceremony. And yet we are told that Global Warming is going to cause the sea levels to rise by 2 centimetres or more. That's nothing.