New Zealand Conservative

There's some rather weak comparisons being made between reports of John Key's motorcade speeding through Samoa, and the infamous incident of Helen Clark speeding up to Christchurch to make a flight to get to the rugby in Wellington. Very weak comparisons, so I thought I'd set the record straight, by comparing 8 key factors in the events, scoring a point against Clark and/or Key against each question to arrive at an "Outrage Index" score. The higher the final score, the more we can be justifiably outraged at either incident. But first, to get you into the mood for the Race, listen to this: 1. Helen Clark's car was traveling at a top speed of 170kph, whereas John Key achieved a top speed of only 120kph. That's a significantly slower speed, and ranked as "almost legal" whereas Helen's speed is clearly moving towards "World's Fastest Indian" level and immediate loss of license. Score Helen 1 outrage point, John 0 2. On...

Helen Clark introduced a new definition into the Labour dictionary from her Ivory New York Tower: Vindictiveness : To implement a policy not aligned to Labour; usage: "National scrapping Labour's sustainability agenda was motivated by sheer vindictiveness " One would therefore imagine that Labour under Helen Clark aiming to scrap many jobs (as a consequence of their sustainability agenda) was also motivated by sheer vindictiveness. Even from New York, she speaks for Labour and not for New Zealand. That appears to me to be unfortunately " cancerous and corrosive " (a term she reserves for an opposition leader not aligned to Labour policy). She was every bit the dictator rather than the diplomat when she retreated to labeling all the foreshore and seabed protesters as " Haters and wreckers ". Against the widespread protest of the Electoral Finance Bill and the Anti-Smacking Bill, she was dismissive, considering anyone with a different opinion were con...

With the death toll at 7, with another 10 injured, after a car is used as a weapon to attack Queen Beatrix, of The Netherlands, who needs guns? A terrible tragedy, terrible for the senseless loss of innocent life, all for a pathetic plan that seemed as likely as succeeding as trying to kill her by spreading Mexican Swine Flu. Other pathetic plans would have to include Egypt killing all of the country's pigs . Was this to curb the spread of Mexican Swine Flu? Well, looking at the facts, it seems no Mexican pigs had holidayed in the middle east or North Africa for the last 3 years. It was indeed a dodgy call, particularly when all the pigs are owned by the minority Christian communities, struggling to pay the bills in a Muslim pig-fearing country. It's not religious persecution if it's for health reasons. In New Zealand, the Bishops of the Catholic Church have declared no more communion on the tongue, and no sharing of the communion wine. It's not religious persecu...

So the man didn't stand and applaud when Helen Clark was given a standing ovation. I wouldn't have stood either, as I do not believe that our previous Prime Minister deserves such an accolade. Especially since there are major questions over whether or not Miss Clark bought her way into her UN position. The furore over David Garrett's lack of action reminds me of what I read on Stalin's time. It was important to laugh whenever Stalin laughed, otherwise you were seen as disloyal and things would not bode well for you. Given that Wellington during Helen's time as PM was known as "Helengrad", it's not surprising that there has been such condemnation of David Garret. It seems Helengrad's effects are still in place. Otherwise, this would not be news. David Garett's private decision to not stand and applaud did not need to be noticed. That it has been and was turned into "news" is really scary. Related Link: ACT MP refuses to join ova...

New Zealand's ex-Prime Minister, Miss Helen Clark has landed a tax-free UN job. Quite a coup for a socialist whose government, while in power, raised taxes in this fair land numerous times. Not sure they were ever lowered. I think it only fair that Miss Clark donate 39% of her salary to the country that gave her the leg up to the world stage. But more astounding than a failed Prime Minister getting a top UN post, is the sycophantic blathering from the many of the talking heads here in NZ. I can almost forgive John Key, maybe he'd say anything to be rid of her, but the rest of them? What's up with that? Given Helen Clark's forthcoming appointment as Director of the UN Development Programme, New Zealand LGBT organisations need to take a stronger and more proactive stance against homophobia and transphobia overseas. Interesting... Related Links: LGBT Human Rights Blackspots ~ GayNZ Tough job for Clark, ex-UN ambassador says ~ NZ Herald Blog Opinions: Helen Clark sho...

Goodness, I almost choked on my breakfast cocoa while reading this. Helen Clark named as the Greatest Living New Zealander ? No this isn't a satirical post. Are they kidding? Here were the top five nominees and the votes they got - * Helen Clark - 3163 votes * Willie Apiata - 2645 votes * Sir Murray Halberg - 1467 votes * Peter Jackson - 1340 votes * Peter Snell - 1041 votes I don't know how the voting was done or whatever, but this is just ridiculous. The woman has been part of so many dodgy scandals, coverups, and lies it just doesn't make sense. How quickly we forget, I guess. Stalin has just been named one of the greatest Russians ever, so I suppose it's no surprise that Clark can have a similar popularity. People can be such idiots...

Helen Clark, on her annual European vacation has taken time off from time off to criticise John Key for taking time off. "The rest of the world is aware there's an economic crisis on, they are aware there's a huge international crisis in Gaza, and the New Zealand government is on holiday," she said. Whilst it is obvious to Labour voters that Helen Clark would have solved both of these issues by now, what isn't obvious is that Helen Clark obviously thinks that John Key is the entire government of New Zealand. That may have been the case under Helen Clark, but we have moved away from a dictatorship, and last I looked the size of the bureaucracy rivals a decent sized refugee camp. Although, with the announcement that the Cullen Fund has lost 25% of its value, maybe John Key will cancel his holiday and rush home to attend to a crisis he can actually do something about. At that point, Clark would have to take time off from her holiday to urge John not to be so blood...

It's struck me that the liberal left just love to play the hypocrite card. The H. word (hypocrisy) is often seen worse than the crime itself. For example, one can declare that they believe it wrong to torture small furry animals, and when caught out those on the left gleefully shout "hypocrite" as if they've scored a major point, and those on the right get their priorities right and start off with "you bastard for torturing those small furry animals." We've seen Helen trying to make a mountain out of the molehill that John Key didn't have a heart felt political opinion on the Springbok tour back in 1981. "Can we trust him?" she thunders. Of course, she was a rabid political nutjob back then, and by implication she urges us to believe she hasn't changed. And now the TV advertising starts, where Labour (who aren't going to campaign dirty) have initiated a series of dirty advertisements where they manage to get John Key saying some...

Helen Clark has accused John Key of lying over how many shares he sold off at a loss. John Key agrees he got the total number of shares wrong, but they were sold off at a loss and the shares were listed on the public share register. Helen will have none of that. As staunchly as she believes Winston, she is dead set cert that Key is lying about this. I thought Helen was simply attacking him to divert attention from Winston Peters who was found lying over accepting donations, taking money from special interest groups, failing to meet his minimum requirements as a Minister of the Crown with regard to declaring gifts and donations, and working with Labour President Mike Williams to milk the same donors. But I realise now it wasn't an attack. It was a swoon of admiration. I think she's actually sizing up John for a position in Cabinet. Winston is obviously her rock solid choice for Foreign Affairs. You reckon she wants Key in as treasurer? Cullen better lie, cheat and steal...

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What's going on?' 'Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Helen Clark, Micheal Cullen, & Winston Peters. They're asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection.' The driver asks, 'How much is everyone giving, on average?' 'Most people are giving about 4 litres' This was the latest to come across my email joke feed. I have to say "Ouch". There's a message or two in this joke. Firstly, that the Labour/NZ First coalition isn't looking too hot for the next election. Secondly, that on today's prices, 4 litres represents a sizable investment for people. It looks to me like they don't just want to take out the ruling class, that they might have eno...

Well, I really almost couldn't believe this. Helen's motorcade, not content with whizzing through towns at breakneck speed has now taken to parking where they like - in fact, blocking disabled car spaces . And disabled people trying to park in aforementioned spaces told to move on or face arrest. Marshall Leaf's wife Elizabeth tried to use a disabled space but a young policeman demanded she move on, and threatened to arrest her if she did not get out the way. And she wasn't the only one - That caused an 81-year-old Parkinson's patient to struggle 200 metres down a wet street after attending a concert in the Town Hall. Oh, well done Helen...in election year, too. I've often driven past disabled parking spaces at Sylvia Park and wished I could park there but have had to drive on and find somewhere else. As usual, one law for some, another law for the rest of us.

The Dim-Post theorizes on the possible reasons for the people of Auckland apparently keen and queuing to get a hold of Ian Wishart's recent book, Absolute Power. Are Aucklanders a bit crazy, and if so why? It's a condition that may come to be known as "Jafa Brain" DIM-Post suggests two possibilities: an unreliable informant who often misleads the well-meaning but gullible Mr Wishart. Or maybe those DOC aerial sprays a few years back had a greater effect on the good people of Auckland than we were led to believe... I’d go with the DOC aerial spray theory myself. A large portion of those good people of Auckland readily believed the National Party is nothing but a front for the Exclusive Brethren, whose nefarious aims to accuse the Greens of wanting to halve defence spending were guided by policy written in Washington. Policy that would see nuclear ships back in Waitemata harbour by lunchtime. Luckily, journalist god Hager, whose very opinions are beacons of shining...

This morning on the TV news they had clips of Helen Clark from an interview she did on BBC World News trying to defend her stance on the Free Trade Deal she is soon to sign with China. She says - "I'm conscious that in my lifetime China will be the world's biggest economy. It will be a super power and it's important to me that we get on the best terms we can with that large and powerful country." OK, well, getting on good terms is one thing but I'm not sure whether because a country will be a super power is a good enough reason to sign up to a free trade deal with them. Would we sign up with Iraq if it turned out they were going to be a super power? Or Afghanistan? It's unlikely that Iraq or Afghanistan will become super powers, but I'm just trying to make a point here. If the world were to become unstable with a conflict developing and battle lines drawn then with whom would we be allied? Communist China? It's worth thinking about. ...

Time to hoist the tankards and pour the ale. Tis Friday, and another week has been consigned to the history books. Next week, read the Labour Party News Releases to see just how we are supposed to remember it. They've already declared the Main Stream Media have turned on them. Can't be too long before a hefty donation from Owen Glenn funds the Labour Party Historical Information Bureau. Or aren't those love birds talking any more? Chris Trotter is still plugging for Helen Clark to be rolled by Goff. It's embarrassing watching the die hard old communist try to influence democratic process. Chris, you can't roll leaders of the Workers Party. You just put up their Union Fees and blockade the door to the beehive. I enjoyed his "Helen Clark has brains but no heart" theory. Ouch. With comrades like these, who needs an axe in the back of a hotel room? But his suggestion that the Labour party have to show empathy to suffering Kiwis only creates a scene li...

Trevor Mallard is in trouble again for punching out Helen Clark. Dr Cullen has clarified the issue. "This is the most acceptable kind of violence . Mallard was simply defending the Queen's honour." Related Link: Helen Clark insults the Queen Hattip: TBR - Mistress of the text message Excerpts from above links: Prime Minister Helen Clark has been accused of insulting the Queen by text messaging while the monarch was making a speech. ------- Senior Cabinet Minister Trevor Mallard was "defending a woman's integrity" when he thumped National MP Tau Henare but his actions cannot go "unnoticed", Prime Minister Helen Clark says. [No - she later gave him more important portfolios]

There was an interesting interview on the Breakfast show on TV this morning between Paul Henry and the PM. Paul put it to Helen that Labour promised in 1999 that no more than 5% of New Zealanders would be paying the top tax rate (I think it was 39c in the dollar?); yet 11% of the country are paying this top rate now. Helen said something like - oh, that's because New Zealanders have prospered under a Labour Government. My response to that is surely it's not that hard to adjust the tax rates accordingly so that still only 5% are paying the top tax rate? After all, they don't have any problem in adjusting the salaries of MPs to match inflation. But no, if they did adjust the tax rate to fulfil their promise from 1999 then Labour wouldn't be filling it's coffers as much. Seems like the more money you make, the more Labour expects you to give them of your hard-earned cash. [edit] transcription of video online now - Paul: [...] the promise in 1999 that only 5% of taxpa...

I hardly ever watch TV, so it was unusual for me to suddenly decide to flick the switch and see what was on the LCD last night. And lo! behold! Facelift (I think that was the name). I'd never seen it before, and it was a nice surprise to see some NZ Political Satire on the box. Still, it was full on. It was hard to take in the H1 characterization. I was almost feeling sorry for our Right Honorable P.M. Then I recalled some of the satirical posts from my Sir Humphrey days. I was a bad person. 14 May 2005 - Sir Humphrey's Post Our glorious leader of the State of Helengrad, Miss Helen Clark, Dominatrix supreme, is affectionately known as H1. It's quicker to write, you see. Dr Michael Cullen, Economix, would possibly be H2 (although I think the title has gone to Heather Simpson). But no. That is what they want you to think. The success of recent cloning experiments (following Dolly the sheep) enabled our clever Kiwi Scientists to clone Helen Clark. With nothing more ...

When it's one of Helen Clark's ministers - Benson-Pope, Dover Samuels, Taito Phillip-Field, David Parker etc - she is quick to say "wait until the investigation is over" and "every-one is presumed innocent until proven otherwise". But when it is any other person or group she can gain political mileage from, she is very quick to leap in with the judgments. As is the case with Electra cutting power to the Muliaga household on the day of the death of Folole Muliaga. Electra do have a case to answer for their part in this, but it is beyond inappropriate for Helen Clark to be leading the witch hunt. The one pledge Helen Clark will never make is to refrain from hypocrisy. [Thanks to Ted3001 for raising this excellent point]

Yep, according to what I heard on the radio today (and read HERE ), Helen Clark has re-opened Labour's Mangere electorate office and installed list MP Darien Fenton within. Looks like it's going to take more than the Philip Field case to dampen their enthusiasm for the electorate....

After a series of major political blunders, Helen Clark has decided to get back to the charm offensive style of Labour marketing. I open up the Dominion Post today and what is on the front page? Fatal attack shows up flaws, says Clark And Helen Clark weighs in on a nice safe policy of savaging pit bulls. On page two: Clark backs prison van restraints And Helen Clark again gets a safe headline - bashing prisoners. And again on page two: Helen Clark has confirmed Labour will pay back in the next few days the $826,000 identified as misspent..." There's Helen promising to repay stolen funds. Although she doesn't actually specify a date, and talks about the repayments as if the timing is beyond her control: "I understand that they intend to repay in the coming days" says Miss Clark. They? Nothing to do with the leader of the Labour Party obviously. And still on page two: Miss Clark said.. A common currency with Australia would..be quite rough on the smaller par...