Accidents waiting to happen

So about six months ago, 4 million New Zealanders spent the week falling off ladders, slipping on stairs and picking up heavy boxes the wrong way. How come no-one noticed? Surely the hospitals were overflowing that week? How does the Accident Compensation Commission manage to receive a billion dollars in claims in the space of a week and not think that New Zealand is in the grips of a Frank Spencer epidemic?

If it wasn't accidents causing ACC's misfortune then perhaps it was something far more sinister - voodoo. With another billion dollar blow out mentioned after the accidental billion dollars bumbled off the bottom line, I put the blame squarely on voodoo economics. Some-where, some doped up Haitian has been sticking pins into the international banking system, and giving acupuncturists a bad name. And ACC have been funding voodoo economics longer than acupuncturists.

Or did these accidents happen in a more steady and spaced out manner? Like dominoes, falling month after month, and they could only sit by and stare in helpless fascination as the debt piled higher? They couldn't quite get to their email system in time: "Dear Labour Government, we are required under law to disclose any minor accidents we may have inadvertently been responsible for. Does a two billion dollar loss fall into this category?"

When ACC lodged it's own claim form, the Labour government managed to put this delicate issue of economic health on the standard six month waiting list. Until just after the election.

Was that an accident? Was Dr Cullen so worried about the voter's mental stability, it was best NOT to tell us we were terminal, with only months to live before he hacked off our tax cuts? That's just the kind hearted response we had come to expect from Aunty Helen's General Practice, and it's no wonder New Zealand have gone off and sought a second opinion, and elected John Key.

Like herpes (apparently), expect Labour to be back in three years more virulent than ever. I'm making a note right now: Whatever cure they offer is much worse than the disease they gave us in the first place.

I've been so busy in the real world, I've barely noticed the important issues of the day that we bloggers must discuss. Like light bulbs. National have shown the light by reversing the decree that non-CFL bulbs are illegal. Many on the right will now be wondering what to do with their huge stash of 100 watt contraband.

Possibly trade them for booze. The media seem to be harping on about how bad alcohol is. Wine. Wine. Wine. I can hardly beer it. Some fool wants to tax it to oblivion. Can't we just add a surcharge to being between the ages of 14 and 21? That would cover a fair proportion of bad driving, drug abuse, truancy, vomiting in a public place and listening to bad music, all major crimes in any civilised society. Sure, there are people outside that category but no-one has taken much notice of Labour MP's ever since early November anyway.

Actually, I better be more PC about throwing truancy into that list. Some legislation going through at the moment wants to charge 3 grand in fines to parents who cannot keep their kids in school. That's outrageous. I'd check first that the school wasn't forcing kids to watch Al Gore's "Inconvenient Truth".

Which leads into teaching religion in public schools. Not a big fan. It's hard enough finding a Maths teacher that can teach geometry, an English teacher that can teach Shakespeare and a Biology teacher that can teach physics. So getting the Phys Ed. teacher to talk about God is just asking for trouble. Especially when the Black Caps are losing. Very few understand the value of suffering, although teachers in general possibly come close. If you want to learn about religion, go to a Catholic School. (That was a joke, unfortunately.)

So what about Peter Ellis then? Talk back radio has dispensed with juries and judges, lawyers, evidence and testimonies and come up with a much better system: "criminals didn't give him the bash in jail so he's innocent." Brilliant. I bet he weighs as much as a duck. Throw him in the pond and see if he floats.

It would make a great retrial - Peter Ellis being tossed into the Avon (to see if he sinks or floats) and the issue resolved once and for all.

I'm wondering why though, with "the book which explains all and whose name need not be said", and the endless number of victims who have recanted (evidence still pending) why he has had so much trouble getting a retrial?

Being a blogger, I have my theory. Precedent. Will every male pederast or pedophile be able to claim that many victims were simply led on by irrational parents and loopy psychologists? Peter Ellis might be gay, but he must be feeling rather relieved he isn't a priest or a high profile Christian. He would clearly have been found guilty without even a trial, thrown in jail and left there to be long forgotten.