Wednesday, December 31, 2008

ZenTiger Save the planet in one hour and other ideas

I see the concept of turning the lights out for an hour a year gaining momentum. Christchurch has placed dibs on being the city of darkness for New Zealand, but Wellington also promises not to use the new wind turbines at Makara for an hour in March 2009.

They call this Earth Hour!

Since the greens, the political left, politicians, children, and the politically correct think this such a powerful statement, I am willing to consider getting behind the idea and using it for other political statements.

For example, Rocket Hour!

Israel could be invited to fire rockets into the largest city of each country in the world. They would have a cap of the number of rockets fired into Israel over the year (so a mere couple of thousand). They could do this for just one hour every year. The main stream media would apparently say bugger all about it (as they do now when rockets fall into Israel), and we all accept this new form of "news in empathy". The world pretends Israel is just like Hamas, and that nothing can nor should be done about it. Perhaps they could put it down to the pressure Israeli feel living in a small Jewish state surrounded by 1 billion Muslim Arabs and Persians, a large proportion who want them destroyed, and say so 5 times a day whilst facing Mecca. Israel would, of course, be denied shooting any rockets into Lebanon to preserve the irony, and they themselves are exempt from launching rockets on themselves given they experience Rocket Hour on a daily basis.

How about Tax Hour!

Instead of paying tax on every dollar, multiple times, perhaps also we could restrict tax to a single hour every year? Some may argue that this will not generate enough revenue to make a difference for government budgets, but I think you have to see this exactly the same way as Earth hour. It's not about what actually gets done, it's all about raising awareness and feeling like something has indeed been done.

I'm sure there are a whole month of one hour events per year we could instigate to raise that vital awareness of the burning issues of the day to make us feel good:

Sushi Hour! where we don't eat fish or whale for a whole hour in recognition of serious over-fishing of our resources, and the senseless slaughter of whales for "scientific purposes"

Materialism Hour! (held between 2am and 3am June 18th each year) where shops close down even though this will disadvantage many libertarians needing to exchange goods for money.

Men against violence hour! Honestly, I don't think the white ribbon day is achieving the results we want. It's time to ramp up the campaign and suggest that men try and go a whole hour without bashing the fairer sex. I know this is an extreme suggestion, but with the Women's Refuges filled to overflowing this Christmas we need to treat this issue as seriously as Planet Hour. I'm a bloke, I should know.

Job Hour: The United Nations say that a job is a fundamental right. People are not only born free, they are born with a job, and if you don't have one it's been stolen from you. So lets return jobs to all the unemployed people for one hour a year. We round up the computers, job agents, financial markets, scientific bodies, inventors, multi-nationals, captains of industry and highly efficient people and we make them give back the stolen jobs or we shoot them. Hang on, I see that this program has already been previously tried in places like Russia, China, Cuba and North Korea. Forget it, it might be more practical to sort out the United Nations.

What's your hour that will change the world?

Related: Kiwis unite for 60 minutes

1 comment(s):

Seán said...

Nice Satire Zen. On tax hour, you may have turned me with that paragraph...Earth hour was only ever about awareness, but at some point the feel-good awareness needs to turn into (realistic) action. Enough of the BS now.

Re Rocket hour...yes but it´s only tom thumbs being fired into Israel over the year.

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