Nice summer evening, probably off wasting time in the real world. FFM is in transit. he has been up here most of the week and is now starting the tortuous journey back to the UK.
Just got back from The Cook's Christmas piss up. I was the deal a driver so it's good evening and good night. BTW if you want a bit of amusement go and have a look at the blog Pundit. Some good stuff but my oh my, many of the authers are precious upper class lefties who have a high price on their heads.
Evening all - it's a select few here tonight, I see. Spent the evening establishing that I'm really not very good with regular expressions - should have left it all at work, really.
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'
'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.
'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'
'Very good,' said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'
'That was a fine story Sarah.'
Michael, do you have a story to share?'
'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'
'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
'Stay the heck away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking..
Thanks Madeleine, the song was dreadful, I had never heard it before but apparently it was #1 for three weeks! And her only hit. Now I know this is not a blog that normally reads rude posts, but I think you should click through the link on my friday filth post. It is very funny.. In a schoolboy smut way..
I am playing a little game with Lee C with those posts. I spent all day trying to find something that sounded like porn but was not. It was truly revolting, but the commentary was funny.
I couldn't look at most of it. Especially towards the end.
I figured it was not porn the minute I saw the name when I went by your site earlier - I don't know why I didn't think it was, maybe it was too tryhard.
Ruth, my gardening is very behind this year. I've just bought a number of baby zucchini and rockmelon plants from the garden centre and need to prepare beds for them. Maybe I'll get something out of the scollopini in January.
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looks like my place, I kid you not..
ReplyDeleteEvening all..
And before anybody calls me a fibber..
ReplyDeletehttp://barnsleybill.blogspot.com/2008/01/topping-tuscan-tony.html
photo from an early 2008 post.
karaoke begins at 7 tonight.
Hi BB,
ReplyDeleteWe've just been making pizza tonight, so apologies for not replying earlier.
I do like your pool.
Where is everyone?
Nice summer evening, probably off wasting time in the real world.
ReplyDeleteFFM is in transit. he has been up here most of the week and is now starting the tortuous journey back to the UK.
"Where is everyone?"
ReplyDeleteNot long home after a day in Dunedin which included lunch with the PM - just him, a couple of hundred others and me.
very quiet here tonight...
ReplyDeleteVery quiet. So quiet even I'm wondering what happened to me at this point.
ReplyDeleteJust got back from The Cook's Christmas piss up. I was the deal a driver so it's good evening and good night. BTW if you want a bit of amusement go and have a look at the blog Pundit. Some good stuff but my oh my, many of the authers are precious upper class lefties who have a high price on their heads.
ReplyDeleteEvening all - it's a select few here tonight, I see. Spent the evening establishing that I'm really not very good with regular expressions - should have left it all at work, really.
ReplyDeleteAnybody going to kick off the jokes? Or do I need to go straight to the sewer?
ReplyDeleteRight, I did warn you.
ReplyDeleteThe Moral of Auntie Sharon
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'
'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.
'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'
'Very good,' said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'
'That was a fine story Sarah.'
Michael, do you have a story to share?'
'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.
She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.
Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.
And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'
'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
'Stay the heck away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking..
Ba da boom.
BB what was that awful song that was No1 in Britain? I stopped it about 1/3 through as it made me want to hurl something at the computer.
ReplyDeleteNow the Blues Brothers one was very cool!
I would have been here sooner but I am still recovering from the log flume ride. (Work Christmas do at Rainbow's end)
ReplyDeleteDon't laugh. I have a neck injury so it was as risque as I dared go and it proved to be not such a good idea. Ah well, 4 sleeps to go.
Very cool pool BB!
ReplyDeleteThanks Madeleine, the song was dreadful, I had never heard it before but apparently it was #1 for three weeks! And her only hit.
ReplyDeleteNow I know this is not a blog that normally reads rude posts, but I think you should click through the link on my friday filth post. It is very funny.. In a schoolboy smut way..
I am playing a little game with Lee C with those posts. I spent all day trying to find something that sounded like porn but was not.
ReplyDeleteIt was truly revolting, but the commentary was funny.
I couldn't look at most of it. Especially towards the end.
ReplyDeleteI figured it was not porn the minute I saw the name when I went by your site earlier - I don't know why I didn't think it was, maybe it was too tryhard.
How is your garden doing Lucyna?
ReplyDeleteI've just picked my first courgettes -- hoping to have beans for Christmas dinner!
Good grief! Has beens for Christmas dinner?
ReplyDeleteRuth, my gardening is very behind this year. I've just bought a number of baby zucchini and rockmelon plants from the garden centre and need to prepare beds for them. Maybe I'll get something out of the scollopini in January.
ReplyDelete