[Warning R13 Content. R16 concepts. Occasional Satire. Facts to be taken with Grain of Salt (although the Kindy Disco story is true) Void to read where prohibited.]
Steve Crow has released the September Queen Street Parade Schedule as his concerns mount that New Zealand is not free enough, and women emancipated enough. "It is important all New Zealanders turn out regularly to support our democratic right to promote and foster a healthy attitude to sex and sexuality."
The parade schedule for Queen Street is as follows:
Sep 01: Boobs on Bikes
Sep 02: Tits on Trikes
Sep 03: Hooters on Scooters
Sep 04: Racks on Tracks
Sep 05: Knockers for Fokkers
Sep 06: Mamas for yo Papas
Sep 07: Norks for the Dorks
Sep 08: Jelly for the Telly
Sep 09: Fun Bags on Slags
Sep 10: Helens with Melons
Sep 11: Beamers in Beamers
Sep 12: Grand Glands on the Strands
Sep 13: Bristols with Pistols
Sep 14: Ta-tas for Martyrs
Sep 15: Titties for the Cities
Sep 16: Breast heading west
Sep 17: Marshmallows for fellows
Sep 18: Puppies and Pillows
Sep 19: Milk Tankers for the Wankers
Sep 20: Bazongas Gazongas and Wazongas
Sep 21: Perts for Flirts
Sep 22: Nips on ships
Sep 23: Narleys on Harleys
Sep 24: Boulders on Holders
Sep 25: Cones with Chaperones
Sep 26: Hogans for Bogans
Sep 27: Twin Globes under Strobes
Sep 28: Baps for the chaps
Sep 29: Headlights on motor bikes
Sep 30: Bosom Buddies in the Nuddies
Whilst the October schedule has not been finalised, Steve Crow was considering advancing the cause of freedom even further. Following up from the recent interest in Olympics, Steve was planning a series of Queen Street events where people could compete on large floats for medals in sex events. Votes would be tallied by the number of flash bulbs going off during the event. The main events so far:
1. Most Private Act (will also be televised)
2. Best bonk (man/women)
3. Best bonk (mixed doubles)
4. Best bonk (coxless fours)
5. Marathon Event
6. Womens Beach Volley Ball (without the ball)
7. Open Forum (points awarded based on size of audience)
Steve noted that whilst any of these events, like his annual sexpo, could be held on private property, true freedom could not be realised until the event could be held on public property, in open air, with as much free publicity as possible. Ideally, against the vocal wishes of any-one who thought a public venue was inappropriate.
Interestingly, the court agreed and considered that the law had not moral or legal right to stop Steve Crow holding public rallys for such important issues of conscience 365 days a year. It was even possible Steve Crow could be funded by a government grant from the human rights commission. Georgina Beyer has reportedly offered to take up a position allocating funds from a $10 million dollar kitty for such freedom promoting events.
In other news, police and noise control officers move to shut down a kindergarten party where 4 year olds were accused of 'singing and having fun' too loudly right through to 6:30pm at night, disturbing people's right to watch Steve Crow's hired porn stars on the News in peace and quiet.
Related Link: Kindy Disco Too Wild
Related Link: Boobs on Bikes a firm Kiwi Tradition
Related Link: Steve Crow, NZ's Larry Flint, battles censorship
Steve Crow has released the September Queen Street Parade Schedule as his concerns mount that New Zealand is not free enough, and women emancipated enough. "It is important all New Zealanders turn out regularly to support our democratic right to promote and foster a healthy attitude to sex and sexuality."
The parade schedule for Queen Street is as follows:
Sep 01: Boobs on Bikes
Sep 02: Tits on Trikes
Sep 03: Hooters on Scooters
Sep 04: Racks on Tracks
Sep 05: Knockers for Fokkers
Sep 06: Mamas for yo Papas
Sep 07: Norks for the Dorks
Sep 08: Jelly for the Telly
Sep 09: Fun Bags on Slags
Sep 10: Helens with Melons
Sep 11: Beamers in Beamers
Sep 12: Grand Glands on the Strands
Sep 13: Bristols with Pistols
Sep 14: Ta-tas for Martyrs
Sep 15: Titties for the Cities
Sep 16: Breast heading west
Sep 17: Marshmallows for fellows
Sep 18: Puppies and Pillows
Sep 19: Milk Tankers for the Wankers
Sep 20: Bazongas Gazongas and Wazongas
Sep 21: Perts for Flirts
Sep 22: Nips on ships
Sep 23: Narleys on Harleys
Sep 24: Boulders on Holders
Sep 25: Cones with Chaperones
Sep 26: Hogans for Bogans
Sep 27: Twin Globes under Strobes
Sep 28: Baps for the chaps
Sep 29: Headlights on motor bikes
Sep 30: Bosom Buddies in the Nuddies
Whilst the October schedule has not been finalised, Steve Crow was considering advancing the cause of freedom even further. Following up from the recent interest in Olympics, Steve was planning a series of Queen Street events where people could compete on large floats for medals in sex events. Votes would be tallied by the number of flash bulbs going off during the event. The main events so far:
1. Most Private Act (will also be televised)
2. Best bonk (man/women)
3. Best bonk (mixed doubles)
4. Best bonk (coxless fours)
5. Marathon Event
6. Womens Beach Volley Ball (without the ball)
7. Open Forum (points awarded based on size of audience)
Steve noted that whilst any of these events, like his annual sexpo, could be held on private property, true freedom could not be realised until the event could be held on public property, in open air, with as much free publicity as possible. Ideally, against the vocal wishes of any-one who thought a public venue was inappropriate.
Interestingly, the court agreed and considered that the law had not moral or legal right to stop Steve Crow holding public rallys for such important issues of conscience 365 days a year. It was even possible Steve Crow could be funded by a government grant from the human rights commission. Georgina Beyer has reportedly offered to take up a position allocating funds from a $10 million dollar kitty for such freedom promoting events.
In other news, police and noise control officers move to shut down a kindergarten party where 4 year olds were accused of 'singing and having fun' too loudly right through to 6:30pm at night, disturbing people's right to watch Steve Crow's hired porn stars on the News in peace and quiet.
Related Link: Kindy Disco Too Wild
Related Link: Boobs on Bikes a firm Kiwi Tradition
Related Link: Steve Crow, NZ's Larry Flint, battles censorship
Perhaps I should explain one of my thought processes above?
ReplyDeleteI figured by listing many of the slang synonyms for breasts it would underscore the point that these activities do indeed objectify women.
You'd think 10 would be overkill.
Old army saying: There's no such thing as overkill.
Very good Zen - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
ReplyDeleteIt does indeed objectify women - and I must say my opinion of John Minto has gone up a notch with him protesting the spectacle. I know a lot of people will think "Oh he protests anything" but so do a lot of others and they didn't march.
Really the radical left and feminists should have been out in force.
James, what crap do you think I have spouted? I haven't said women aren't allowed to make their own choices. I am saying that shameless commercialism to peddle porn in a public place is (IMHO) nothing to do with women not able to make their own choices.
ReplyDeleteNothing is stopping them from acting in their porn flick.
Are you just annoyed people want to discuss advertising standards? Don't we have the freedom to discuss advertising standards in your world?
Aren't you the type of person who believes that you will defend my right to say what I want, for whatever reason I want even if you disagree with it? Or do you believe in limits on freedom of expression after all?
Considering many sexual deviants come from religious/repressed households...you people have a bloody cheek in spouting your shit
So you are now accusing me of being repressed? How could you say that of some-one who bandies about terms such as norks, bazongas, racks and bristols?
James, sexual deviants come from all kinds of backgrounds. So I assume somebody who comes from any of those other backgrounds would have a "bloody cheek" if they expressed an opinion about this subject, according to you.
ReplyDeleteSo--just who would be an acceptable person to hold an opinion about it in your view?
"It was even possible Steve Crow could be funded by a government grant..."
ReplyDeleteYou should know by now Zen, it has to be funded by the unwilling but helpless taxpayer if any leftist/progressive is to ever bless any such event with the tag 'true freedom'. :)