Monday, December 24, 2007

ZenTiger Auto Subscribe

[This post is satirical in the year 2007]
NZ Labour, via the Electoral Commission, are about to release new voting forms in preparation for next years election. "We have done extensive research and we believe this is what the public are demanding", said Helen Clark from her bunker last Tuesday. "I'm particularly pleased with our new "auto-subscribe" option that revolutionizes voting and makes it affordable (time wise) for the masses, proving once again NZ Labour has the interests of the less fortunate in mind." Helen added. "And based on our surveys, we know exactly who the less fortunate are. Us."

The new forms look something like this:

2008 Ballot Paper
This Ballot Paper proudly sponsored by NZ Labour, democratic leaders of the free world etc. (Approved by H Simpson; Paid for by Parliamentary Service)

Name: _________________________*
Address: _________________________*

* I realise that for transparency reasons, we should not vote anonymously, because the Exclusive Brethren may try to vote twice.
* I may leave this blank if I want to assign my vote to the incumbent government
* Any voting form filled out incorrectly will become a proxy vote for whoever Margaret Wilson decides, as Margaret Wilson can be relied upon to be impartial.

[X] Yes, I give my electorate vote to NZ Labour
[X] Yes, I give my Party vote to NZ Labour
[X] Yes, Please repeat the same order next election (assuming we hold them)
[X] Please assign my family's vote to Labour on this one convenient vote ticket.
I declare my dog to be living and in good health.
Total in family: 4,6,8,20 (Circle one. Round up to the nearest number.)
(White out any X if they are not required)

[ ] No, I would prefer to vote for ________________________^
(Please enter the candidate name & party EXACTLY for your vote to be valid.)
^ By voting for another party, I realise that IRD may audit me as part
of a random compliance initiative.

[X] But I still want to Party Vote Labour
[ ] Please cancel my Party Vote as a protest (any kind of protest)
[ ] No, I've thought about it and want to Party Vote _____________
[ ] I've changed my mind. Cancel my party vote.
[X] This is a one time vote, I revert to auto-subscribe (vote Labour) in future elections.
(White out the X if not required)
Declaration: Please check the following
[ ] I am not Exclusive Brethren (You guys said you don't vote, so don't.)
[ ] I am not, or never have been a member of a terrorist organisation such as National, which starts with the letter N, the same letter as Nazi.
[ ] I believe my NCEA credit has suitably qualified me to understand why I am voting Labour. I also believe that Labour were forced to charge me millions of dollars for my university education, and I am grateful they have decided not to charge interest.

8 comment(s):

Hoolian said...

Excellent! You're in splendid form.

dad4justice said...

Brilliant stuff team .

pdm said...

`This post is satrical in the year 2007'........

You forgot to add:

........but is expected to become Law for all future elections if Labour win in 2008!!!

KG said...

With Labour, today's satire is tomorrow's compulsion.

Oliver Woods said...

Obscero, jocaris nunc tu! Sed joco remoto et pro deum fidem, dic bona fide: qui quae vult dicit, quae non vult audiet.

MK said...

Good stuff Zen..

Oswald Bastable said...

Thanks- I stole a copy for my blog!

ZenTiger said...

Thanks MK. Feel free, Oswald. It only makes my copyright infringement case against NZ Labour all the more compelling when they steal every idea and try to use it themselves.

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