"I own your white honky ass" said President Obama to Mr Olbert Saratova, a Wall Street CEO, as he explained that Wall Street salaries would be capped to a mere $500,000 whilst they lived off government money.
"Slap us in chains and call us slaves", complained Mr Saratova who argued that being a CEO is a demanding and skillful job that deserved million dollar bonuses based on their unique skills.
"What next, will he expect us to cancel our trust funds and off-shore accounts and start paying tax?"
"This is about as close to communism you can get", argued various free market gurus. "If Obama continues to make these kinds of outrageous demands, I think we should pull an Ayn Rand and go live in the Caymen Islands. Let's see how long America lasts without a hedge fund."
"We may now be nothing but slaves, but you need us", added Saratova.
Please hum along to Saratova's Wall Street Blues:
Ah've bin working hard all day, all night.
Not got much money, but it's alright
Hedged on stocks from the ASX
Brought the Yen to stop deficit
Expenses are high, with bonuses low
Can't make payments on the bungalow
Sold the Merc and rode the bus
Couldn't get a seat, made a big fuss
But they don't like our kind
No they don't like our kind, oh Lord
They own my white honky ass.
"Slap us in chains and call us slaves", complained Mr Saratova who argued that being a CEO is a demanding and skillful job that deserved million dollar bonuses based on their unique skills.
"What next, will he expect us to cancel our trust funds and off-shore accounts and start paying tax?"
"This is about as close to communism you can get", argued various free market gurus. "If Obama continues to make these kinds of outrageous demands, I think we should pull an Ayn Rand and go live in the Caymen Islands. Let's see how long America lasts without a hedge fund."
"We may now be nothing but slaves, but you need us", added Saratova.
Please hum along to Saratova's Wall Street Blues:
Ah've bin working hard all day, all night.
Not got much money, but it's alright
Hedged on stocks from the ASX
Brought the Yen to stop deficit
Expenses are high, with bonuses low
Can't make payments on the bungalow
Sold the Merc and rode the bus
Couldn't get a seat, made a big fuss
But they don't like our kind
No they don't like our kind, oh Lord
They own my white honky ass.