Family First has released new research that shows the devastating financial effects that divorce has on a country.
All of this is incredibly timely as I've just finished reading a book on divorce, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study, prompted by a recent separation announcement by one of my cousins last month. Reading the book was really hard, as it broke my heart for both my cousin and her children who are the same ages as my own children. If the future for the children was positive, it wouldn't be so bad, but it seems that divorce for children is devastating from the day they find out about the destruction of their family and it doesn't improve - it gets worse over time.
If parents really knew what the long term effects are on children I doubt they would separate. But there are a number of myths that we as a society believe about divorce that have become entrenched since no-fault divorces became the standard. The major myth being that if the parents are happy, the children will be too. This is a lie, a horrible, disgusting lie that allows parents to split up without too much guilt. But the fact is that children suffer terribly when their parents separate, and they hide much of this suffering from their parents because of a fear of abandonment. Once the marriage is split open, the children are no longer protected by the family unit, and many children become protectors of their parent's emotional states instead.
A couple of days ago I found out another cousin is about to take the step of separation from her husband, and it made me reflect on what the book said about children of divorce and their inability to make their marriages work. Both my cousins that are separating grew up in divorced families. They both have no idea how a man and a woman who are having difficulties reconcile their problems. All they know is that if the going gets tough, you leave. And that's what they'll be teaching their children.
Related Link: Loose morals costs NZ $1b a year ~ Stuff
Family breakdown and decreasing marriage rates is costing New Zealand taxpayers at least $1 billion a year, according to new research.The article seems to focus on mainly the financial effects of divorce/family breakdown on the country, which unfortunately is the only way to get people's attention as to the detrimental effects of the divorce culture that is so prevalent in the West.
Prepared by the New Zealand Institute of Economic Research (NZIER), the research was commissioned by Family First NZ.
"The study shows that the decline of marriage, New Zealand's high teenage fertility rate, and our rate of solo parenthood is not just a moral or social concern but should also be a concern of government and policymakers,'' said Family First NZ national director Bob McCoskrie.
"The report states that even a small reduction in family breakdown and increases in marriage rates could provide significant savings for taxpayers.''
All of this is incredibly timely as I've just finished reading a book on divorce, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study, prompted by a recent separation announcement by one of my cousins last month. Reading the book was really hard, as it broke my heart for both my cousin and her children who are the same ages as my own children. If the future for the children was positive, it wouldn't be so bad, but it seems that divorce for children is devastating from the day they find out about the destruction of their family and it doesn't improve - it gets worse over time.
If parents really knew what the long term effects are on children I doubt they would separate. But there are a number of myths that we as a society believe about divorce that have become entrenched since no-fault divorces became the standard. The major myth being that if the parents are happy, the children will be too. This is a lie, a horrible, disgusting lie that allows parents to split up without too much guilt. But the fact is that children suffer terribly when their parents separate, and they hide much of this suffering from their parents because of a fear of abandonment. Once the marriage is split open, the children are no longer protected by the family unit, and many children become protectors of their parent's emotional states instead.
A couple of days ago I found out another cousin is about to take the step of separation from her husband, and it made me reflect on what the book said about children of divorce and their inability to make their marriages work. Both my cousins that are separating grew up in divorced families. They both have no idea how a man and a woman who are having difficulties reconcile their problems. All they know is that if the going gets tough, you leave. And that's what they'll be teaching their children.
Related Link: Loose morals costs NZ $1b a year ~ Stuff