The government has taken the surprising step of making driving illegal.
They point to a staggering number of deaths caused by driving, and caused in particular by dangerous driving, ignoring speed limits and driving whilst tired, drunk, or inattentive.
However, the news is not all bad. Police will not be enforcing the law unless they feel there is good cause. Police are quite pleased. Explains Officer Bradford:
"Previously, we tried to set speed limits to moderate behaviour, but this proved ineffective. If road conditions, visibility, density of traffic or ability of driver varied, then driving at the allowable speed was still dangerous. I think we all realise that it doesn't take more than a couple of trips to the shops before most drivers turn into raving petrol heads.
Furthermore, there is no question there are better, more environmentally friendly ways of traveling. Buses, trains and bikes offer more positive methods of travel on a number of fronts. People are relying far too much on the car, and this basically leads to higher death rates. We need to get the death rate down."
Many citizens have reacted angrily, although some bloggers suppose they are probably ones that have cars.
"Such people don't like the government telling them what to do" opined one blogger who has a very nice 10 speed bike with a bell and yellow reflectors. He sold his car three years ago. "Basic facts are trains and bikes are the transport of the future. No ifs, buts and maybes."
A referendum instigated by a group known as "Cars for Families" posed the question "Should driving a car as part of good personal travel options be a criminal offence in New Zealand?" and has already gathered hundreds of thousands of signatures, more than enough to force a referendum.
This has caused the ire of various academics and the media, who suggest that the question is confusing. "Of course a car is a fine method of travel. Just because we've made it illegal to drive, doesn't mean people cannot drive them. The police will use discretion and no doubt anyone traveling at a good walking pace will be fine. Those that clearly push the law will be put on a defensive driving course and given lessons on how to read a bus time table."
However, Officer Bradford is outraged at this action, and wants the power to block referendums if they ask a dumb question. Fortunately for NZ, Bradford has a list of sensible questions, and has confirmed that this wasn't one of them.
"A quick scan of my list", says Bradford, "indicates 'Should the penalty for being caught driving, when we know it leads to dangerous driving, be having the car impounded?' is acceptable, as is 'Should driving cars when there are so many alternatives, be illegal providing the government doesn't enforce the law unless its for the safety of the passengers or other people that are in the vicinity of the road?' We can do either of those, although lets cancel the referendum because 9 million could be better spent on umbrella stands at bus stops."
Prime Minister John Key seemed bemused by the whole thing.
"Listen, I'm not going to listen to this referendum thing. It's my job as Prime Minister to have others listen to me. I've negotiated with Officer Bradford, so there is no cause for alarm. Taxis are exempt, and government vehicles. Buses and trucks are exempt, as are ambulances and fire trucks. So we'll just wait and see how this new law works rather than over-reacting. I don't expect there to be a surge in arrests, although a few more cops might pull a few more people over - what's the harm in that. It will prove the law is working, so by all accounts this will be a good law."
They point to a staggering number of deaths caused by driving, and caused in particular by dangerous driving, ignoring speed limits and driving whilst tired, drunk, or inattentive.
However, the news is not all bad. Police will not be enforcing the law unless they feel there is good cause. Police are quite pleased. Explains Officer Bradford:
"Previously, we tried to set speed limits to moderate behaviour, but this proved ineffective. If road conditions, visibility, density of traffic or ability of driver varied, then driving at the allowable speed was still dangerous. I think we all realise that it doesn't take more than a couple of trips to the shops before most drivers turn into raving petrol heads.
Furthermore, there is no question there are better, more environmentally friendly ways of traveling. Buses, trains and bikes offer more positive methods of travel on a number of fronts. People are relying far too much on the car, and this basically leads to higher death rates. We need to get the death rate down."
Many citizens have reacted angrily, although some bloggers suppose they are probably ones that have cars.
"Such people don't like the government telling them what to do" opined one blogger who has a very nice 10 speed bike with a bell and yellow reflectors. He sold his car three years ago. "Basic facts are trains and bikes are the transport of the future. No ifs, buts and maybes."
A referendum instigated by a group known as "Cars for Families" posed the question "Should driving a car as part of good personal travel options be a criminal offence in New Zealand?" and has already gathered hundreds of thousands of signatures, more than enough to force a referendum.
This has caused the ire of various academics and the media, who suggest that the question is confusing. "Of course a car is a fine method of travel. Just because we've made it illegal to drive, doesn't mean people cannot drive them. The police will use discretion and no doubt anyone traveling at a good walking pace will be fine. Those that clearly push the law will be put on a defensive driving course and given lessons on how to read a bus time table."
However, Officer Bradford is outraged at this action, and wants the power to block referendums if they ask a dumb question. Fortunately for NZ, Bradford has a list of sensible questions, and has confirmed that this wasn't one of them.
"A quick scan of my list", says Bradford, "indicates 'Should the penalty for being caught driving, when we know it leads to dangerous driving, be having the car impounded?' is acceptable, as is 'Should driving cars when there are so many alternatives, be illegal providing the government doesn't enforce the law unless its for the safety of the passengers or other people that are in the vicinity of the road?' We can do either of those, although lets cancel the referendum because 9 million could be better spent on umbrella stands at bus stops."
Prime Minister John Key seemed bemused by the whole thing.
"Listen, I'm not going to listen to this referendum thing. It's my job as Prime Minister to have others listen to me. I've negotiated with Officer Bradford, so there is no cause for alarm. Taxis are exempt, and government vehicles. Buses and trucks are exempt, as are ambulances and fire trucks. So we'll just wait and see how this new law works rather than over-reacting. I don't expect there to be a surge in arrests, although a few more cops might pull a few more people over - what's the harm in that. It will prove the law is working, so by all accounts this will be a good law."