Friday, June 26, 2009

ZenTiger John Key in six year old's body

Stephen Walker, age six, called a media conference tonight to advise that he was actually John Key trapped in a six year old's body.

Stephen was cool, calm and collected as he explained the situation:

"From what I can gather, Stephen attended a traveling Romanian Carnival a few weeks ago. Having been denied a ride on the Ghost Train by his parents, he stamped his foot and said You'd let me if I was Prime Minister of New Zealand, and ran over to an old magical fortune telling machine and made a wish.

The next day, I awoke in Stephen's body, in his bed."

The young but articulate child continued: "I tried to explain to his mother who I was, but apparently Stephen had pulled this sort of stunt before, claiming invariably to be Sue Bradford, Mike Mallard or myself, so I was sent to school. I would have called a press conference earlier, but Mrs Flippery was reading "Little House on the Prairie" and I wanted to find out if Laura was going to survive what appeared to be a difficult winter.

Furthermore, it took some convincing of Stephen's parents that I was actually John Key trapped in their son's body. Who would have known that we both don't like Brussels Sprouts, and that Lime Jelly was also Stephen's favorite desert?

I finally convinced Stephen's Dad when I helped him with Options trading and suggested he sold short on derivatives. We closed his exposure on the Japanese Yen, and made a $30,000 profit in 10 days. I also showed him how he could restructure some of his assets and minimise his tax, although he really needs to follow that up with his accountant. You don't want to cross the guys at IRD."

When John Key was contacted and asked for comment he said this this was a "riduculmnous idea" and that Stephen was obviously telling fibs and should be made to eat Brussels Sprouts and other yuckky stuff.

The media tested Prime Minister John Key by asking if he understood the referendum question: "Should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?" he said he has no idea what that meant, but he hopes he doesn't get a smack if anyone finds out.

Zoltar Speaks: Key doesn't understand the question

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