We are now in the midst of a pandemic. A world-wide pandemic no less! Is that like repeating something to make it true?
So let me get this straight. The Mexican Flu mutated to the Mexican Swine Flu and then mutated again to become the Swine Flu. That's mutation by media, not by viral cell forms.
Apparently, the Swine Flu is unstoppable. I've seen predictions of 30% to 50% infection rates across the population. If we are lucky.
So of 110 million Mexicans exposed to the highly contagious, unstoppable Swine Flu, about 150 died. And some of those deaths may not have actually been from the Flu. They're not sure.
Do you know what 150 divided by 110 million is, in percentage terms? I tried to work it out but my talking calculator suggests that it's an insult to work with such small numbers. Apparently, I need a particle accelerator to generate the digits.
And then this deadly flu spread to New Zealand. And the people that were diagnosed with it were fed pizza and pancakes (being the only things that slide under the door) and went on to make a full recovery. Some, embarrassingly enough, recovered fully before they could be quarantined. Bastards.
Fancy recovering before stocks of tamiflu or some other vaccine could be manufactured and sold at great expense to ward off the millions of deaths - as predicted with empirical data, computer models and zombie movies.
How about using Mexico ground zero as the data source? 110 million people. 150 deaths. Maybe.
So the Flu got put on hold, and now it's back and the health authorities are calling it a panic, sorry, pandemic. Anyone with the flu can assume they've been struck down by piggy-sue, the modern typhoid Mary.
OK, I know getting the Flu can be serious. People die from it every year, usually due to other complications. But I just don't get the current hype, other than an opportunity to sell vaccines, even if they are coming to market a bit late.
Maybe they are hoping that victims of the flu will suffer high temperatures leading to delusions and loss of critical analysis skills, and will swallow anything, assuming the bitter pill to be medicinal?
If you get the flu, stay at home and rest up. Eat lots of pizza, pancakes, thinly sliced oranges and anything else that slides under a door. And don't bite any pigs.
Related Link: I can't be bothered finding one.
Note: This post does not constitute medical advice. Anyone thinking for one moment that this post can be used to formulate a medical plan in the event of sickness is clearly delusional and should be shipped off to hospital immediately and subjected to shock treatment and psychotropic drugs.
So let me get this straight. The Mexican Flu mutated to the Mexican Swine Flu and then mutated again to become the Swine Flu. That's mutation by media, not by viral cell forms.
Apparently, the Swine Flu is unstoppable. I've seen predictions of 30% to 50% infection rates across the population. If we are lucky.
So of 110 million Mexicans exposed to the highly contagious, unstoppable Swine Flu, about 150 died. And some of those deaths may not have actually been from the Flu. They're not sure.
Do you know what 150 divided by 110 million is, in percentage terms? I tried to work it out but my talking calculator suggests that it's an insult to work with such small numbers. Apparently, I need a particle accelerator to generate the digits.
And then this deadly flu spread to New Zealand. And the people that were diagnosed with it were fed pizza and pancakes (being the only things that slide under the door) and went on to make a full recovery. Some, embarrassingly enough, recovered fully before they could be quarantined. Bastards.
Fancy recovering before stocks of tamiflu or some other vaccine could be manufactured and sold at great expense to ward off the millions of deaths - as predicted with empirical data, computer models and zombie movies.
How about using Mexico ground zero as the data source? 110 million people. 150 deaths. Maybe.
So the Flu got put on hold, and now it's back and the health authorities are calling it a panic, sorry, pandemic. Anyone with the flu can assume they've been struck down by piggy-sue, the modern typhoid Mary.
OK, I know getting the Flu can be serious. People die from it every year, usually due to other complications. But I just don't get the current hype, other than an opportunity to sell vaccines, even if they are coming to market a bit late.
Maybe they are hoping that victims of the flu will suffer high temperatures leading to delusions and loss of critical analysis skills, and will swallow anything, assuming the bitter pill to be medicinal?
If you get the flu, stay at home and rest up. Eat lots of pizza, pancakes, thinly sliced oranges and anything else that slides under a door. And don't bite any pigs.
Related Link: I can't be bothered finding one.
Note: This post does not constitute medical advice. Anyone thinking for one moment that this post can be used to formulate a medical plan in the event of sickness is clearly delusional and should be shipped off to hospital immediately and subjected to shock treatment and psychotropic drugs.