Thursday, May 13, 2010

ZenTiger Good Advice

Mr Key said he thought Tuhoe would get the joke, but it appears they were not amused. Of course they are not amused, he didn't finish with a down trou and a baring of his bum cheeks in their general direction, or taking the Maori flag and shooting it, or offering huge sums of compensation for historical satirical moments. Some good advice for Tuhoe - respect the Pakeha's ability to be irreverent. It's a cultural thing chaps.

Dr McAnulty said people should not eat raw slugs or snails and should ensure they wash their hands after touching them. Fair enough. It wasn't on my list of likely activities, but obviously, some people need to be told.

James, 16, died after drinking a bottle of vodka and falling into an alcohol-induced coma on Saturday evening. Pupils lined the lengthy driveway and stood in silence as the hearse carrying James' body was driven out of the schools grounds. Here's another tragedy. When you are young you can feel invulnerable, and usually, moments of excess or recklessness teach you a serious lesson. Unfortunately for James, he went too far. It seems a crazy way to die, but there will be many kids that pile into a car after one too many drinks and become just another statistic. Kids, please take this lesson to heart.

Property tycoon Sir Robert Jones is seeking up to $800,000 for the hurt he has suffered over a critical article which suggested he had inflated his investment company's assets to increase his management fee, a court was told today. Speaking of bloody good jokes, Sir Robert has punched below the belt, but surely only in jest? According to a book of his I once read, the only people capable of inflicting pain on Sir Bob are his ex wives, or anyone with particularly bad grammar. Some good advice to the defence team: Bring in an ex as part of the defence team and promise a 12 month trial with lots of badly phrased documents presented in evidence. He'll be ready to settle out of court for a cup of coffee.

A Cambodian woman has been caught allegedly smuggling a tiger's penis into New Zealand. I checked and it's not mine. Furthermore, I rang Woods, and it's not his either (although he might take this as a cautionary tale). I am however, suitably outraged at the trade in endangered and protected animal species, such as the magnificent tiger. My good advice is to MAF - prosecute, and find out who was lined up to buy it, and prosecute them as well. And give the beagle a biscuit.

Energy giant BP is preparing to once again try and staunch the unchecked flow of oil from a ruptured well that threatens an environmental disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. Some good advice BP? Oops, too late for that.

4 comment(s):

macdoctor said...

And give the beagle a biscuit.

I suspect the beagle would prefect the tiger's penis.

Never trust a hungry beagle...

macdoctor said...

drat, that should be "prefer"

Although, I do remember a prefect who was certainly a penis of some kind...

ZenTiger said...

A prefect not perfect? Richard perhaps?

mojo said...

Aha, I am impressed. 'Good advice,' by definition is good.
I must say though that the 'tiger's penis resulted in a smile, 'I checked and it's not mine.'
Most, just know ... no checking involved or necessary ... mmm.

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