Friday, January 20, 2012

Lucia Marriage Destroyers - Pornography


But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Ego autem dico vobis : quia omnis qui viderit mulierem ad concupiscendum eam, jam mœchatus est eam in corde suo.
Matthew 5:28

Pornography is one of the modern world's marriage destroyers, yet very few people today make the effort to stay away from it.  As Jesus says, if you look lustfully at a woman, you've already committed adultery with her in your heart.

Jason Evert in the YouTube clip talks about the destructive effects of pornography on a marriage.  He asks how marriage can last if a man is constantly comparing the images he sees in pornography with his wife, and  how he can be satisfied with her body if he's been trained to become bored with women's bodies in 15 to 30 seconds. Very few marriages can survive infidelity and pornography is a means of being unfaithful, no matter how people rationalise it.

If you are shocked by this whole concept of pornography being harmful to a marriage and you want to stop your addiction, never fear, recovery is possible.  Have a look at this link: Breaking free of pornography.

15 comment(s):

James said...

How many marriages are kept together by couples sharing porn and keeping the spark alive...?

Andrei said...

It is all about degrading mankind created in the image of God and dragging us into a state lower than that barnyard animals wallowing in their own muck.

Satan knows our weaknesses and ruthlessly exploits them to ultimately sow despair which is the end result of pornography for those who make it and those who are sucked in by it.

Lucia Maria said...

Are you asking me, James?

Andrei said...

And James immediately falls into the trap that has been set to divide us form our spouses - blissfully unaware that the "spark" as he calls it arises from the blending of souls however imperfectly and not from sweaty grinding which without the deeper spiritual bonding between a man and a women will soon become stale.

Which is why of course we have "sex addicts" endlessly chasing fulfillment through sex and looking entirely in the wrong place and so never finding it.

Lucia Maria said...

Very, well put, Andrei.

James is of course not married, so has no idea.

KG said...

'..arises from the blending of souls however imperfectly and not from sweaty grinding which without the deeper spiritual bonding between a man and a women will soon become stale."
Exactly!

Psycho Milt said...

...if you look lustfully at a woman, you've already committed adultery with her in your heart.

In that case it's a wonder any marriages last past the first week, given the serial adultery that will have gone on in that time...

leftrightout said...

...if you look lustfully at a woman, you've already committed adultery with her in your heart.

Jesus, the "great moral teacher", in a single sentence, creates the concept of thought crime.

Marriages are as different as the people in them, and most of us are quite happy to stay as a pair, we don't need a threesome so we leave god in the church, we don't invite him into the bedroom, or the backseat, or wherever else we feel like bonking each other.

macdoctor said...

And therein is the problem, leftrightout. Marriage is a great deal more than just two people "bonking" each other. You can't get the depth of union and level of partnership envisioned by Jesus by signing a piece of paper or making a few vows. You have to become totally committed to your spouse. THIS is what Jesus is talking about. Not a new rule to follow but an active turning of one's thoughts towards one's spouse - to seek exclusively the very best for them.

macdoctor said...

Psycho Milt:

Yes it is a wonder, but then, God is very gracious...

ZenTiger said...

@PM and LRO - do you have any sort of rebuttal to offer on the argument that pornography works against a strong marriage?

Andrei said...

Jesus, the "great moral teacher", in a single sentence, creates the concept of thought crime.

I don't think Sin equates to crime necessarily LRO.

Sin is what divides us from God.

When a man looks at a woman and see's her as an object of desire he is not seeing her as God's creation equal to himself but as a thing to be used.

Virtually all men do this at some time I guess, it is inbuilt, part of our fallen nature.

But as we grow we hopefully put it aside and see people as people not objects for our gratification. It is something actually goes beyond sexual lust.

Lucia Maria said...

Based on my understanding of what is and isn't sinful, I believe that when Jesus said "to look lustfully", he meant to do so with full consent of the will. In other words, there are many, many temptations around (especially for men in that respect), but if you dampen any lustful thoughts that may arise, if you refuse to give in to looking more and feeding those lustful thoughts, then you have scored a great victory.

Practising "custody of the eyes" is very important as well, especially if lustful thoughts are difficult to overcome.

LRO, you may call this a "thought crime", however, all evil comes from the heart (the will), and therefore learning to control one's thoughts is vitally important.

Psycho Milt said...

@PM and LRO - do you have any sort of rebuttal to offer on the argument that pornography works against a strong marriage?

Not really = it was only the comment I was responding to. As far as porn as a marriage-wrecker goes, different people have different relationships and the same thing can have different effects. For example, alcohol's also an excellent marriage wrecker but in mine we drink together every night at dinner. No doubt there are marriages in which porn falls into the same category. It's what you do with things that affects your marriage, not the things themselves.

ZenTiger said...

Probably a case of a relatively few exceptions justifying a disproportionate number of consumers where porn consumption is a solitary affair, kept apart from their spouse.

A quick Google, and this thread was at the top, and seems to sum up the issue fairly well:

Porn hurts no-one, well, except for your wife

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