There's a really sad feature article in yesterday's Sunday Star Times written by a woman in her late 30's who "writes in defence of the one-night stand." I found it sad, because while she apparently wrote in defence, her own words showed just how damaging such a lifestyle is to a person.
It started with losing her virginity at age 14. It seems to have taught her to use men and let herself be used in turn by them. Not that she saw that; her only regret was that she was used, ie not cared for by the boy she had sex with. The fact that it was her choice also seems to vindicate the experience as if choosing ought to remove any regret.
Do I judge her? No. I feel sorry for her. What a waste of a life.
Related Link: Judgement Call ~ Sunday Star Times
It started with losing her virginity at age 14. It seems to have taught her to use men and let herself be used in turn by them. Not that she saw that; her only regret was that she was used, ie not cared for by the boy she had sex with. The fact that it was her choice also seems to vindicate the experience as if choosing ought to remove any regret.
I was "going out" with the guy, but we broke up soon after, and I watched him go through a succession of teenage girls. It does annoy me that someone who didn't really care about me was my first time - but it was still my choice. Really, I just wanted to get it over with, to see what it was all about.There there are the two following statements about sex that don't gel. The first talks about how she feels sex ought to be.
I think it’s healthy to think of sex as fun, to not attach too much importance to “getting it right” actually, if you think of sex like that, you hardly ever have a bad experience. It is, simply, just another experience.The next is her actual experience.
It’s kind of a 72-hour roller coaster. Day one: euphoria and the lingering memory of intimacy, it’s like being hugged, for a really long time. Day two: hangover recovery. Day three: the realisation you are still alone.Here's more about the virtue of choice that vindicates anything.
There’s an assumption that a woman who goes willingly into a one-night stand must have low self-esteem. Actually, I like myself. I also like sex. Sue me.Her major worry is that she will be judged. She rationalises that she's only had 19 sexual partners, therefore she's not promiscuous as the Kiwi woman's average is over that number (really? there must be a heck of a lot of us pulling that average down).
It’s your choice. It should always be your choice. I can think of only one occasion where I knew I didn’t want to do it, even as I put my key in my front door. You learn from those experiences.
Do I judge her? No. I feel sorry for her. What a waste of a life.
Related Link: Judgement Call ~ Sunday Star Times