You've heard of the Super Nanny that sorts out troublesome kids in no time flat?
You've heard of the Nanny State - those meddlesome left wing zealots that know better than parents, and like to equate violent abuse with temperate physical discipline?
Well prepare for the new reality TV show hitting the airwaves this season: Super Nanny of the State. Hosted by themuppet talent Campbell, it features Sue Bradford and Cindy Kiro as the Super Nannys of the State (SNotS). These big SNotS take on little snots and show how positive parenting techniques are so effective in a classroom situation.
Yes, with the Dom Post page 3 announcing that 1 in 5 children in the classroom are extremely disruptive, anti-social, violent and abusive, it makes a teacher with 25 kids vainly trying to manage (let alone educate) 20 whilst 5 of them are playing up big time.
Faced with such disturbing statistics, and cognisant that today's children are the product of the last 20 years of increasingly liberal PC tosh (yes, damn it, tosh.) - Sue Bradford and Dr Kiro are going public in a very real and concrete "money where their rather large mouths are" kind of way.
It's live. It's real. It's uncut, with no outtakes. It's reality. They'll each be stepping into NZ's most difficult classrooms, posing as relief teachers in schools around NZ. Hidden cameras will demonstrate those very techniques they vaguely mention whenever that dirty word "discipline" comes up. For those parents still not in jail for beating their kids to death, here's the chance to learn from the masters. Let's hope those clueless, violent prone parents (Mum - zonked on valium" or "Dad - rampant with Viagra) bother to tune in. Apparently, there's well over 300,000 of them. Indeed, some polls rate the target audience as high as 80%. Cullen is counting the tax on advertising revenue already.
But after the first few shows, wont the game be up? Even to the most apolitical kid, Bradford and Kiro will be the most recognisable faces on TV after Paris Hilton.
This is where the ratings brilliance of the TV producer, a Mr Z. Tiger, just gets better.
To keep children and parents guessing, the first 15 minutes of every show will be a ratings winning segment putting Kiro and Bradford into disguise. A makeover with bite.
A NZ version of Queer Eye (the Tranny Nannies) will dress them; Our own glam girls Rachel Hunter and Xena will teach deportment and how to make a piercing battle cry of command; NZ trained Plastic Surgeons Antonie Dixon and Daniel Moore will tuck tummys, siphon bio-fuels from thighs (adding a nice Green twist) and remove the occasional limb; and Lunn of Tawah has offered to teach a variety of fourrin acksense to fool the kids and, strangely, improve elocution skills.
There's enough there to challenge the ratings power of Lost and Californication, so the TV moguls are feeling pretty confident these new age gurus Bradford and Kiro can pull this whole thing off.
Unfortunately though, their success may prove to be their undoing. This could really embarrass the teachers of NZ and show them up for being incompetent in their inability to instill, as Dr Kiro might well say, "socially and culturally acceptable behaviour patterns by reaching out and communicating at a trust-level with children as adults and peers with due recognition of the power relationship imbalance of adults requesting that children consider the long term personal value and goal-oriented self-actualised payoff for bloody well paying attention." Because, the way they tell it, this whole lefty liberal thing with kids is like falling off a log.
Actually, I have to 'fess up and admit this show is still in the concept stage and I'm actually behind it. So if the show doesn't get the huge tax payer funding grant I'm expecting (I gotta pay the talent guys), then all I can say is, well, what a shame such a good idea will go to waste. They should do it anyway. Maybe, just maybe, it's time we dropped another 300,000 signature petition on parliament's doorstep?
You've heard of the Nanny State - those meddlesome left wing zealots that know better than parents, and like to equate violent abuse with temperate physical discipline?
Well prepare for the new reality TV show hitting the airwaves this season: Super Nanny of the State. Hosted by the
Yes, with the Dom Post page 3 announcing that 1 in 5 children in the classroom are extremely disruptive, anti-social, violent and abusive, it makes a teacher with 25 kids vainly trying to manage (let alone educate) 20 whilst 5 of them are playing up big time.
Faced with such disturbing statistics, and cognisant that today's children are the product of the last 20 years of increasingly liberal PC tosh (yes, damn it, tosh.) - Sue Bradford and Dr Kiro are going public in a very real and concrete "money where their rather large mouths are" kind of way.
It's live. It's real. It's uncut, with no outtakes. It's reality. They'll each be stepping into NZ's most difficult classrooms, posing as relief teachers in schools around NZ. Hidden cameras will demonstrate those very techniques they vaguely mention whenever that dirty word "discipline" comes up. For those parents still not in jail for beating their kids to death, here's the chance to learn from the masters. Let's hope those clueless, violent prone parents (Mum - zonked on valium" or "Dad - rampant with Viagra) bother to tune in. Apparently, there's well over 300,000 of them. Indeed, some polls rate the target audience as high as 80%. Cullen is counting the tax on advertising revenue already.
But after the first few shows, wont the game be up? Even to the most apolitical kid, Bradford and Kiro will be the most recognisable faces on TV after Paris Hilton.
This is where the ratings brilliance of the TV producer, a Mr Z. Tiger, just gets better.
To keep children and parents guessing, the first 15 minutes of every show will be a ratings winning segment putting Kiro and Bradford into disguise. A makeover with bite.
A NZ version of Queer Eye (the Tranny Nannies) will dress them; Our own glam girls Rachel Hunter and Xena will teach deportment and how to make a piercing battle cry of command; NZ trained Plastic Surgeons Antonie Dixon and Daniel Moore will tuck tummys, siphon bio-fuels from thighs (adding a nice Green twist) and remove the occasional limb; and Lunn of Tawah has offered to teach a variety of fourrin acksense to fool the kids and, strangely, improve elocution skills.
There's enough there to challenge the ratings power of Lost and Californication, so the TV moguls are feeling pretty confident these new age gurus Bradford and Kiro can pull this whole thing off.
Unfortunately though, their success may prove to be their undoing. This could really embarrass the teachers of NZ and show them up for being incompetent in their inability to instill, as Dr Kiro might well say, "socially and culturally acceptable behaviour patterns by reaching out and communicating at a trust-level with children as adults and peers with due recognition of the power relationship imbalance of adults requesting that children consider the long term personal value and goal-oriented self-actualised payoff for bloody well paying attention." Because, the way they tell it, this whole lefty liberal thing with kids is like falling off a log.
Actually, I have to 'fess up and admit this show is still in the concept stage and I'm actually behind it. So if the show doesn't get the huge tax payer funding grant I'm expecting (I gotta pay the talent guys), then all I can say is, well, what a shame such a good idea will go to waste. They should do it anyway. Maybe, just maybe, it's time we dropped another 300,000 signature petition on parliament's doorstep?
Went passed the local Labour Party office the other day.
ReplyDeleteThere's a big sign in the front window. 'This is a no hitting place'.
Do they get people in there wanting to 'punch the lights out' of the local Labour MP? LOL.