If you engage in a bit of break and entering, being noticed by the neighbour is an occupational hazard. Sometimes, they call the police to advise a suspicious character they cannot recognise is attempting to gain unlawful entry.
No worries. This is where Burglary Tip #45 comes in handy.
When the police arrive and ask to see your identification, start by refusing outright. Before they gather their thoughts, swear and cuss at them and claim this is racial profiling. Raise your voice. Threaten them with lawsuits. Perhaps convince them of your sanity by suggesting your mate the President will send the CIA around and whup their asses.
Importantly, tell them they are obviously stupid to accept the word of a neighbour, who is probably a bigoted white trash redneck scumbag. Doesn't matter if their name is Miguel. They are the worst.
The police will be forced to realise that a burglar would never attempt to pretend to be the rightful resident of a house, and quickly retreat, leaving you to clean the place out at leisure.
Note: This tactic only works if you are a person of colour. We recommend burglars looking European hit themselves on the head with a nearby lamp stand, and lie on the ground moaning "I was attacked in my own home by some-one. I think he said his name was Leroy or Obama or something, as in "The law ain't taking Leroy Obama, no sir"
No related link this time. I can't think what this story might apply to.
No worries. This is where Burglary Tip #45 comes in handy.
When the police arrive and ask to see your identification, start by refusing outright. Before they gather their thoughts, swear and cuss at them and claim this is racial profiling. Raise your voice. Threaten them with lawsuits. Perhaps convince them of your sanity by suggesting your mate the President will send the CIA around and whup their asses.
Importantly, tell them they are obviously stupid to accept the word of a neighbour, who is probably a bigoted white trash redneck scumbag. Doesn't matter if their name is Miguel. They are the worst.
The police will be forced to realise that a burglar would never attempt to pretend to be the rightful resident of a house, and quickly retreat, leaving you to clean the place out at leisure.
Note: This tactic only works if you are a person of colour. We recommend burglars looking European hit themselves on the head with a nearby lamp stand, and lie on the ground moaning "I was attacked in my own home by some-one. I think he said his name was Leroy or Obama or something, as in "The law ain't taking Leroy Obama, no sir"
No related link this time. I can't think what this story might apply to.