Heart of Gold

We are all called upon to be charitable. So the charities were hitting the phones hard over Christmas, and I like to help out as much as I can. I also have a couple of charities that I make regular donations to. So after several calls, there came a time when I had to say "sorry mate, not this time round".

I wonder if the callers assume most New Zealanders are tight, or maybe they understand that the budget only goes so far? Reminds me of this story:

A local charity had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The director called to get a contribution.

"Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven't given a penny to charity," the director began. "Wouldn't you like to help the community?"

The lawyer replied, "Did your research show that my mother is ill, with medical bills several times her annual income?"

"Um, no," mumbled the director.

"Or that my brother is blind and unemployed?" The stricken director began to stammer an apology.

"Or that my sister's husband died in an accident," said the lawyer, his voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three kids?"

The humiliated director said simply,"I had no idea."

"So, if I don't give any money to them, why would I give money to you?"

I have at least a hundred lawyer jokes. I'll try not to inflict them all upon you. It's unfair really - lawyers don't think they are funny and other people don't realise they are jokes. Come to think of it, many would work just as well if the subject was an MP. But in an election year, Labour's probably made even that illegal.