Saturday, May 24, 2008

ZenTiger How many points to buy an election?

To: Dr Michael Cullen (
From: Fly Buys
Date: 23 May 2008
Subject: Fly Buys Statement
Dear Mr Dr Cullen

Please find attached your Fly Buys statement as requested. We note that with the Toll Rail purchase your points balance is now at 12,463,210 points.

You points total up to 15 May includes expenditure of 11,000 points for an upgrade to first class tickets on a recent flight to Poland [supplementary card holder Margaret Wilson] and 3 million points for a Ms Helen Clark who purchased the "Champions of the Earth" award from the United Nations.

We have posted a booklet of the catalogue items available. Some of the things you can buy with 12 million points:

* 6,234 foot spas with sea salt packs
* A freezing works in Dannevirke
* A favourable commission of inquiry on any Labour MP (ex-MPs not included)
* A factory in Dunedin for white ware
* A Playstation with assorted Anti-National Karaoke Tunes and the rights to distribute the recorded output on You-Tube (ideal for Labour Party Conferences).
* The unconditional support of the Green Party, irrespective of your environmental policies.

You are just 3 million points away from:

* A knighthood with generous pension
* A job as Secretary General of the UN
* A BMW 7 series with chauffeur

Thank you for participating in Fly Buys.

TO: Ms Helen Clark (
FROM: Dr Michael Cullen (
BCC: Phil Goff (
Subject: FWD: Fly Buys Statement


My idea of signing up for Fly Buys before spending the kitty certainly paid off. We've got 12 million points - and it's all tax free!. Beauty. I'm just checking to see if Election Expenses attract points. That will get us the extra 3 million we need.

I want a Thomas the Tank Engine Train Set (3,400 points) and why don't you take the UN job (14.5M points)? We've got bloody BMW's coming out of our arses, and all of the other stuff is utter crap anyway - something we can get any day of the week. I imagine there will be a lot more cheap factories on the market by election time, and we can always put them on AMEX and pick up some Qantas Frequent Flyer points.

Regs, Cullen.

TO: Dr Michael Cullen (
FROM: Ms Helen Clark (
Subject: RE: FWD: Fly Buys Statement

Find out how many points we need to buy an election.


2 comment(s):

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Very good, Zen.

Gooner said...

Excellent Zen!

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