Friday, March 6, 2009

ZenTiger Friday Night Free for All

Tis Friday!

A regular Friday. Not yet the "every second Friday" the government pays us to take a training day, or whatever that idea was. Just when TEC is shrinking, they think of another plan to replace those lost government jobs with new government jobs. Self improvement every two weeks? I'm in some form of training every day (in the general sense). Don't get any government assistance for it though. Not looking for any either.

Seems to me the blogs are picking up a bit. After a bit of a hiatus, the old issues are crawling out of the woodwork. ACC. Foreshore and Seabed. A new "Iwi Tax" as slippery as the eels they are taxing, via Fishers of Eels. Bill of Rights. Section 92A. New reasons for bludging. Labour moaning that they aren't in power....

This week, it's a bit of a moan at Phil Goff, their leader, the future Prime Minister and therefore heir apparent, apparently. But it's not really Phil that they are moaning about. They just miss the government benches.

Sure, they may feel better by putting him against the wall and shooting him, but it will not solve the basic issue. They miss the smell of a government press release in the morning. They miss being listened to.

That's why Maharey went back to school. Helen is courting the United Nations and Dr Cullen is stacking his cushions, ready for a new cushy job.

No problem, tomorrow is Saturday. Job Pages.

59 comment(s):

Lucyna Maria said...

And, and, and THE BAIN RE-TRIAL. What a complete waste of time and money and brains. My bet is a new jury will find him guilty as well.

mojo said...

Yep, a good summary ... even a telephone poll last night focussed on the credibility of Goff and the viability of Kiwirail ... mind you a cycle track from north cape to bluff will probably circumvent the need for a robust rail system, will also get the trucks off the roads, reduce the lung cancer issues as a result of increased diesel exhaust along the main trunk line, reduce the obesity problem, provide a comprehensive distribution network for P ... but most of all I am, and have been very impressed with a Dr Julian Crane ... says hydrogen sulfide results in more robust/procreative males ... and causes animals (the human male has got to be one of these)to go in to hibernation. This chappy, bless his naivity, is doing the study in to SO2 and H2S in Rotorua. He said at the outset, in public meetings, that it had no impact on health. One should tell those who work in sewers that this is not the 'knockdown' response and that the erectile enhancement really aint simply rigor mortis.
Similarly, those 'wannabe real males' should not hang over sewage settling ponds.
Really, where do they find these 'wannabe noticed' scientists.

Probably a bit loose Zen, but simplistic wankers have that effect on me.

Good evening mate.

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Good evening everyone.
The sun is shining at last.
I was so excited I had to drive to Paihia, eat fish and chips followed by ice cream.
Barsnely is entertaining our Canadian friends who stopped by to use the pool.
As I blogged at BB earlier today, the situation with ACC, immigration and that clothing company shows Liarbour still has no integrity.
I'm on the Lindauer and BB is on the red.
But I arrived back just now with a box od Stella.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Evening All.

Spare a thought for Gooner who is giving his all in the cause of triathlon at Taupo tomorrow.

Be aware also, that Blue Mao Mao at $8.75 per Kg are the most delicious fat little buggers to have baked in the oven for tea on a Friday and I'm not even a Mick Doolan.

Lucyna Maria said...

Hi Mojo, FFM and Adolf!

I have to ask.

Adolf, what are Blue Mao Mao? I'm guessing some sort of seafood?

mojo said...

& is it true that when Ka mate Ka mate was set in stone that spontaneous singing broke out ... Whakaaria Mai ... 'how great thou art?'

mojo said...

& now Campbell on wine ... television really does elevate nerds to positions somewhat beyond their ken.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Blue Mao Mao are a small plump fish which fifty years ago I used catch with a bit of white thread on a hook at Bland Bay/

mojo said...

Yep ... caught them in the Marlborough Sounds as a student on wet holidays ... out of the water & in to the pan they make lovely eating.

mojo said...

Yep ... caught them in the Marlborough Sounds as a student on wet holidays ... out of the water & in to the pan they make lovely eating.

mojo said...

Yep ... caught them in the Marlborough Sounds as a student on wet holidays ... out of the water & in to the pan they make lovely eating.

mojo said...

Yep ... caught them in the Marlborough Sounds as a student on wet holidays ... out of the water & in to the pan they make lovely eating.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

The following text message was received today.

"Bad day for Sri Lankan Cricket. Team failed to fire a shot and were five down before lunch."

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Mojo, yes, you're right, yes, you're right, yes, you're right, yes, you're right.

Oswald Bastable said...

I worked out that based on an 8-hour day- I actually work a nine-day week...

Oswald Bastable said...

My bet regarding is that Bain retrial is that he will be found guilty again, but won't go back to prison for more than two years.

Skyman said...

A man stops to ask directions from a farmer sitting on his porch and is amazed to see a three-legged pig sitting at the farmer's feet. "That's a weird-looking pig," the man says. The farmer is furious. "Don't you ever say anything bad about this pig!" he says. "Just last week my wife and I were sleeping, and a fire broke out. This pig dragged us both to safety. Last month a robber broke into the house. The pig knocked him down, dialed 911 with his snout and sat on him until the police arrived. So don't ever say anything bad about him."

"I'm sorry," the man says. "But what's the deal with the three legs?"

"Mister," the farmer says, "a pig like this you don't eat all at once."

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

The Bain retrial is a multimillion dollar yawn and waste of money. All those QCs for three months? At the end of it all what will it prove? Nothing.

For that sort of money I could have given 1,000 or more people hip replacements.

It's time New Zealanders woke upto the fact that for every dollar you spend with one hand, someone misses out on the other hand.

Barnsley Bill said...

Oswald, I feel your pain. Based on an 8 hour day I actually work a four day month.
Evening all. Normality has returned at Barnsley manor, stinking hot but with a plague of flies.
Friday karaoke is up at my place. This weeks effort (death metal puppy) is dedicated to showmethetaxcut.

ZenTiger said...

Back again, and surprised to see a bit of activity so early on! The suns sets sooner too. Daylight unsaving can't be far away.

Mojo, agree with every word you say, especially on the range of cures a National bike track will yield.

What to call it? The Fitzsimmons-Key Hillary Memorial Cycleway?

Although, once you ride down and turn around to come back up, it would naturally be a recycle way.

And as for Campbell...probably a nice guy, but I can't look at him without thinking the word "muppet". I'm a bad man.

Bain? I don't know anything about the first trial (out of the country at the time), so can't really hazard a guess on the result of the second...I am left wondering that if he didn't do it, who did, and why? I suppose there are any number of theories out there.

Evening one and all.

If scrubone shows up, tell him there will be a pun later ce soir.

ZenTiger said...

It's time New Zealanders woke up to the fact that for every dollar you spend with one hand, someone misses out on the other hand.

And the government is an Octopus when it comes to sticking a hand out for tax.

ZenTiger said...

@skyman - oink oink.

mojo said...

& Adolf, sometimes recording stuff in triplicate is important ... not on that occasion tho,' sometimes these reputedly fast machines freeze & don't represent pissedoffedness realistically.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Roy Morgan just buried Filk Off. National up to 56%, Labour down to 26%

Lucyna Maria said...

Adolf, thanks!

I'll have to look out for the Blue Mao Mao at the supermarket. I don't remember having actually seen any fish of that description, but, here's hoping!

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

They only have them on Fridays at Auckland fish market. They are Catholic fish, you see. No, that's not true. There is one fisherman who catches them in a particular river mouth. All on hook and line.

Hey, it's past my bed time.

So long everybody. See you again at 0500.

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

PS

Don't forget to look out for Pink Mao Mao which are just as good.

ZenTiger said...

0500? Is that a countdown?

Barnsley Bill said...

Despite the fact that I believe Adolf to be a true gourmand, I have to say that his Mao Mao are highly sought after up here.......
AS BAIT FISH.
Barnsley Bill is now repose in the bunker, resting after a hellish day in humidity that would have seen Jaques Cousteau reach for the scuba gear just sitting in a chair.

mojo said...

Pinkos Adolf ... it just had to get round to pinkos.

ZenTiger said...

Mojo, all that talk of SO2, H2S, CO2 and so forth, I thought you were just carbon copying your comments.

I put it down to computers on the internet being affected by computer based global warming simulation software that has obviously thawed and crept out onto the fibre.

Barnsley Bill said...

Surely Blue and Pink Mao Mao are just boys and girls of the same fish?

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Bue Mao Mao?

They are the ones you feed at Goat Island, along with the big snapper.

But don't let DOC catch you.

And yes, the polls toll badly for Filly.

What's Uncle doing this week?

mojo said...

BB, if you see anything pink as of the female gender, you are too well sex role stereotyped and in for a few surprises.

& Zen ... yep, factor analysis seems to have gained a new lease of life in the form of principal components analysis wherein data is fitted to a model rather than being meaningful via statistically based criteria.Computers have enabled the minimally knowledgeable to try & present otherwise. Both sad and dangerous.

Barnsley Bill said...

mojo have you looked in lost and found for your humour?

mojo said...

I feel Kaeo-ed BB

ZenTiger said...

No need to feel blue, mojo. We'll have you in the pink of health once I dig up the weakly pun.

Anyway, I think pink is the colour of pinko commies, who we all know are nothing but big girls blouses.

Your typical Che T-Shirt probably goes pink in the wash because the dye in the underwear runs...or so I've heard.

mojo said...

sounds all a bit fishy to me Zen ... it's the salmonella that causes the runs... not really sure that that come in pink or blue colour coding.

Barnsley Bill said...

Did somebody say joke time?

An English rugby fan is drinking in an Aussie bar, when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical English baby boy weighing 25 pounds.



Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the rugby fan just shrugs and replies, 'That's about average in England ...like I said, my boy's a typical English baby boy. Gonna be a rugby player’.



Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of 'WOW!' One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.



Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, 'Say, aren't you the father of that typical English baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?'



The proud father answers, 'Twenty pounds.'

The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. 'What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!'



The Englishman takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, 'Had him circumcised...'

Ba da boom.

ZenTiger said...

Ouch. And I mean that sincerely.

mojo said...

aha ... vicarious pleasures just aint quite the same as ....

But then BB good joke.

ZenTiger said...

Kiwi bloke was on earth doing the Haka. Somewhere in space, Aliens were watching this unusual dance.

"Kamate, kamate, ka-ora, ka-ora......"

The Aliens were very interested and they wanted to see what would happen if they would take a part of his brain away without him even knowing. So with their alien technology they sent a laser beam down that hit the Kiwi's head and took a part of his brain away.

The Aliens then sat back to see what would happen.

"Ka-mate, ka-mate, ka-ora, ka-ora......."

What the??? The Aliens were amazed with what they were seeing. The Kiwi guy could operate with less than a full brain. So they decided to send the beam down and take another part of his brain. The Aliens watched on.

"Ka-mate, ka-mate, ka-ora, ka-ora......"

"WHAT!!!" the Aliens said to each other. "These Kiwis are very clever people even with half a brain. Let's see what happens if we take the rest of it away and leave him with no brain at all!"

So with a push of a button the Aliens sent the beam down and took away the final part of the Kiwi's brain.

"Now surely he won't know anything at all.He should be too dumb and stupid to do anything now?"

And sure enough, with no brain and no knowledge of anything at all as the Aliens watched on the bloke sang,

"WALTZING MATILDA, WALTZING MATILDA......"

ZenTiger said...

I stole that one from the Aussies. I may have got the song mixed up though :-)

Maybe it was "tie me kangaroo down sport?

KG said...

OI!

mojo said...

Good ... & now for one on consumerism ...
The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone, with a huge pile of human bones next to him, and the rescuers are shocked. He says, "You can't judge me for this. I had to survive." The leader of the rescue team says, "But Jesus Christ, man... your plane only went down yesterday."

KG said...

Off to work--I'll file a complaint with the Race Relations Thingamybob first thing in the morning

ZenTiger said...

You better throw me in for copyright violation too - as I ripped off an Aussie joke.

ZenTiger said...

Actually, I first heard this in Sydney. That's a Kiwi place up north?

KG said...

May as well be--Sydney is about as Australian as Otara.

ZenTiger said...

Two Aussies are adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions one of them finds an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie suddenly appears. This genie tells them that he only grants one wish.

Without giving much thought to the matter, the lamp finder blurts out, "Turn the entire ocean into VB!"

The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turns into beer.

The genie disappears and only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

The second Aussie turns to the first and says, "Nice going mate! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."

KG said...

lol!
Off to deal with assorted drunks and other charmers..have a good night. :-)

mojo said...

I see that Os is espousing solidarity (50mm) with the loss of Roar Prawn's olde, smelly, sea sick green, falcon stationwagon with the number plate Oz, & of male gender ... one can only applaud Os's sense of community

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Think it's time to find something we agree on.
Obama jokes.
Give me a few minutes.

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Q. Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?

A. It shows that he didn't have a virgin birth.


There's a whole website devoted to them
http://barackobamajokes.googlepages.com/

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Q. Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy didn't want to be the worst President in history.

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Obama, McCain and All Hillary Die And Go To Heaven
John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”

McCain takes a breath and then replies, “Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book.” God looks down and then says, “You can sit to my left side.”

So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?” Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, “I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long.” God again looks down and this time says, “You can sit to my right side.”

Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”
Obama smiled and replied, “I think you’re in my seat.”

ZenTiger said...

Booom boom Mr Derek.

ZenTiger said...

(as Basil Brush would say)

Adolf Fiinkensein said...

Barnsley, you must know the old saying:-

One man's bait is another man's bite.

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