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The Summit of the Molehill

In the tradition of Sir Edmund Hillary, John Key has battled to the very peak of the Job Summit Molehill, towering several metres above ground level. He then tumbled down the other side, being the slippery slope of socialism. You could break a limb from that height, but John has already demonstrated he's prepared to give an arm or a leg for a good idea, so we may as well amputate all his limbs now and call him Bob, such were the great ideas the job summit produced.

For example, creating a bicycle track has captured the imaginations of many New Zealanders. And for only 50 million dollars. That's just ironic on so many levels. Where do I start?

The government is supposed to be working out ways to spend money (a problem its never had in the past) so it comes up with a low budget infrastructure deal. I'm suspicious though. They can't even build 20km of motorway for under 1.5 billion dollars in Wellington, so how can they build a 3000km bike track for a few bucks?

Did the 50 million include the new department they would need to establish? If it's anything like any other roading project, expect to see a 10 year consultancy phase with endless arguing from various councils about the rates they need to put up to pay for all this.

Is it the single lane, unpaved version? I can see John Key now: "Oh, you meant a paved bike track? For Bicycles? Damn, there goes my donations from the motorcross lobby."

At a time when we a crying out for safe bike tracks for people to get to and from work, we think a bike track out in the wilderness will help pump up tourism and save the economy? Maybe the cab fares to and from the airport, the airport departure tax and the wet weather gear stores that spring up along the track will push the project into surplus?

But why stop at a bike track? For about $3,000 we could probably install swimming lanes across the Cook Strait and under the Auckland Harbour Bridge.

How popular do you think a National bike track will be? We've already got walking tracks all through our National forests, and they aren't that busy. Sure, we kill a few tourists every year, but that's mostly because they get lost in the wilderness. They leave the track. Maybe we need to attach the bikes to the track like trolley buses. It will keep them on the right path, and we can even power a little pedal motor to help with the hills. (Note to foreigners: "Hills" is a quaint NZ colloquialism for "mountains")

You could then stick a per km charge on the track and make sure those visiting European cyclists pay off our national debt. We could make more money by holding a tour de France. But with a different name so we don't need to pay royalties. That goes for the champagne we pop on the podium too. Not allowed to call it Champagne are we?

The Bike Track wasn't the only idea coming out of the Job Summit. Sadly, it was the best idea. Nothing radical to debate. Nothing contentious to consider. Just middle of the road ideas that wont get us out of first gear.

The Job Summit is over, and it proved to be a molehill. The thing about riding to the top of a molehill is that there is little cruising speed coming down the other side. If we were planning to move mountains, I didn't see it.

With rising unemployment figures a foregone conclusion, I can see that the bike track idea will at least produce a suitable slogan for coming job losses:

"On yer bike, matey".

Previous NZC Post: Job Summit

Comments

  1. Interesting to see that New Zealand has problems that seem to parallel those of the USA in some ways.

    I've only recently taken an interest in New Zealand (looking for some place to jump to when things in the USA finally collapse entirely). I came across the "nine day work fortnight" today and it seems to me to be...bizarre. My impression is affected by my profession: courseware developer (I make training products that students take over the Internet or from compact discs, when and where the student has time to take them). The vast majority of our products are made for the military, whose personnel are expected to take the courses we create on their personal time, out of a sense of responsibility and a desire for self-improvement and professional development. As an individual, I greatly enjoy learning new skills and opening new doors to opportunities. I save and spend my money to do specifically that...all the time. It amazes me when people appear to be uninterested in striving. There seems to be a lack of interest in pursuing personal excellence for its own sake (not to mention the financial rewards).

    New Zealand seems such a beautiful country, and I have read that it has dropped much of its protectionist, interventionist policies. The Heritage Foundation ranks New Zealand as one of the world's most free economies. I suppose I want to believe that it might be a place of great opportunities for the self-driven. Some of the items you have noted on this blog make me think twice about its potential, but I suppose things must be looked at in relative terms...where do the BEST opportunities exist, if the perfect ones do not exist anywhere?

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  2. Hi Mark

    New Zealand is a beautiful country, and opportunity abounds, even within our constraints.

    I think you've found the nub of the matter - if you have the attitude that you have to get up and make your opportunities, then you are halfway there.

    Whilst large segments of the population want to sit back and cruise, those opportunities remain.

    We only complain because we see how much better NZ can be. Come over and be part of the solution, we certainly need people that pursue excellence, whatever their field.

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  3. $50m will only get Key a few bike symbols painted on SH1. So it is a cycle lane (painted verge of road), not a cycleway (separate cycle path, like the busway built beside but separate from SH1 motorway on Auckland's North Shore).

    You have hit the nail on the head Zen, by asking about urban cycle links. A comparison of a length-of-NZ cyclelane or cycleway is unlikely to be better than focussing on cycleways in congested urban areas. Sadly, the asphalt industry price gouge with a viciousness that Abu Ghraib torturers would admire...

    @ Mark, NZ is a land of opportunities, but often gets hit hardest of OECD nations by economic depressions (see 1987).

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  4. Aha ... simplistic, feelgood & 'green appeasement' come to mind. If he keeps this up he will ultimately be 'Rogered' and then God help us all.

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  5. I need to find yesterday's cartoon of the sing-along while the economy is sinking and put it in the post. It's just perfect.

    Now that the job summit is over, if the best ideas are a bike track and a 9 day fortnight, it was a huge waste of time and energy.

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  6. Absolutely no leadership, no recognition of the profound structural deficiencies that need to be fixed in order to free up the productive and remove the massive burden of bureaucracy from our society.
    It's the Welfare State Mk5(c). A delicate pink colour that won't clash with the socialist's Chardonnay....

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