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Police Alert

NZ Police have issued an alert to all citizens to be on the look-out for a suspect they say is armed and extremely dangerous. Already Police have responded to dozens of reports of assault since late yesterday, all believed to be the work of one man.

"It's pretty serious, and we'd advise all people to keep a careful look-out, especially in downtown Wellington. The last reported sighting was on the corner of The Terrace and Bowen Street, but strangely, reports have come in from several areas." said Inspector Oberac, from Wellington Central Police Station.

"I've interviewed several victims and it hasn't been pretty. Some were simply kicked in the guts, but a few have had their balls severely bruised. The perp apparently had them by the short and curlies, then put the boot in", added Inspector Oberac.

There seems to be no connection between the victims, although they all have mortgages or are involved in exporting goods from New Zealand.

The inspector urged witnesses to come forward with any information that might shed a clue as to his identity.

"If we don't catch him now, there is no question he will offend again" [Police Report]

Comments

  1. So what is your day job?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, it's not walking into standard punchlines, if that's what you mean.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've just posted on this stuff. Basically, it's all Cullen's fault - and it's one heck of a mess.

    ReplyDelete

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