Thursday, August 23, 2007

Lucia Men need sex or do they?

In my hunting around for good articles about pornography, I came across an introduction to a book called "Sexual Wisdom", by Dr. RICHARD WETZEL, M.D.

There is a myth floating around about men and sex that is so entrenched, that it is presumed as a given in any conversation about sex. I noticed it come up again on TBR where a commenter is saying that there is no way you can stop teenagers having sex, that they are going to no matter what you do. Why? Because many people today believe wholeheartedly in the myth that men need sex, not just want it, but need it.
The greatest misconception about sex today is that people, especially men, have specific, genital, sexual needs. It asserts that men need to climax, need to fulfill fantasies, or need to have sex with a certain frequency, or in certain positions. [...]

The "needs" misconception is the fundamental attitude underlying abuse of sex in society today - it gives men unwarranted power and control over women. Widespread acceptance of this falsehood has popularized addictive (and therefore unhealthy) approaches to sex: men are thought to need sex like an alcoholic needs a drink. Further, the "needs" misconception changes the primary purpose of sex. The goal of sex should be to enrich or enhance a relationship, whether through holding hands or having intercourse. But when one person is perceived as having a need, the goal becomes to fulfill that need. If fulfilling the need conflicts with the partner's wishes the result is abuse, most commonly of the woman. How could a woman deny her spouse something that he needs?
It's time the myth got deconstructed.

Related Link: Introduction to Sexual Wisdom

7 comment(s):

Andrei said...

I would say the so called "sexual revolution" has caused a great deal of misery and has in no way enhanced human happiness or fulfillment.

When my daughter equated pregnancy to a disease I shook my head in dis-belief and sadness.

I know from whence this came - "safe sex" propoaganda where STDs and "unplanned pregnancy" are mentioned in the same sentence.

What happens to true love and lifelong commitment when human relationships are reduce to discussions of pumbing and disease?

Paul said...

Sex may not be a need but it an awful lot of fun.

The goal of sex is pleasure. Whether it enhances a relationship is another matter.

Andrei said...

Whether it enhances a relationship is another matter.

Well it is far less likely to enhance a relationship if it has been cheapened by screwing all and sundry from a early age rather than preserving it until appropriate wouldn't you think.

Remember the old saying why buy a book when you can go to the library.

The thing is a good book will increase its value over time, while cheap literature palls.

Lucyna said...

Andrei, did you try to dissuade your daughter of her notion that pregnancy was a disease?

Danyl said...

The greatest misconception about sex today is that people, especially men, have specific, genital, sexual needs. It asserts that men need to climax . . .

I wonder if the author of this gibberish knows what a prostate gland is.

mojo said...

yep, to do with species survival so is necessarily a very strong compulsive urge/behaviour such that whatever you pair it with will quickly take on arousal properties ... requires 'strong' social sanctions to keep it contained ... but Lucyna, I think you have somehow relegated the concept of relationship here to a new low... 'becoz he wants, I want, becoz I want he wants.' A failure to follow this basic rule helps create fetishes and certainly makes the 'grass greener on the other side' ... quite simply self-righteousness doesn't keep you warm in bed on a cold night.

David S. said...

I actually agree with this, from a physiological standpoint there's no real difference between sex and masturbation, or involuntary ejaculation (wet dreams etc) - not that I know of at any rate. The pressure to have sex is a combination of hormones and society's expectations. Just as girls are expected to be skinny and gorgeous, men are expected to have sex as much as possible with as many different partners as possible.

As a liberal, I have no problem with that lifestyle, but society has tendency to disapprove of people who don't want to conform to the stereotypes it presents, and it promotes an unnecessary dependence that does harm to both sexes in my opinion.

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