Paedophilia and how to prevent it

At the request of the NZ Police, The Dominion Post this weekend has run a story on the personal experiences and insights of a convicted paedophile. It makes for chilling reading.

What really stands out are the type of children that he could not get close to:

"The ones I've found are impossible are the ones who have a close communication with their parents, they have a mother and a father, they get heaps of time and attention. They're just impossible."

"There was one specific one that I remember I kept trying to groom. I tried and tried, and couldn't get to the next stage. He was from a mother-and-father family and was well loved. Just impossible".

So, an intact mother and father family where the children are well loved and paid attention to (most likely especially when the mother stays at home) is the safest environment for children to grow up in so that they do not fall prey to child molesters. All the good touching, bad touching education in schools does nothing.

Most of his victims had "good touching, bad touching" talks. But it made no difference. He was, he says, "a pro".

"Put me in a room now and it wouldn't take me very long at all."

He explains the technique: "You'd rummage their hair, noogie, hugs, tickling, then the tickling would go lower, it would become fondling. Then a couple of them would say that feels nice, do it again. And you are in."

The article reminded me again of a visit to a children's play park in Sydney, when my oldest child was 4 and and my youngest was a few months old. A couple came into the park as parents were leaving. The woman had a baby in a stroller. They were both very friendly. The woman kept talking to me while the man disappeared. At this point it was just me and them at the park.
After a little while, I realised I couldn't see my four year old, so called out for him. He didn't turn up. I started walking around, pushing my stroller with my baby in it, looking for him while this woman nattered away at me. After what seemed like eternity, but probably wasn't very long, my son came out of one of the play tunnels. Then the man came out. I told them I had to go as I was very uneasy for some reason at this point. It was difficult trying to leave with them talking away and me trying to act like nothing was wrong but leaving quickly anyway.

After we left the park, I asked my son where he was and why he didn't come while I called. He said he was in the tunnel with the man and the man said it would be fun to play a trick on me by not coming out. However, after I'd called a couple of times, he decided he had to come out even though the man didn't want him to.

I've come across a lot of parents over the years and none have acted in the same way that this couple did. I'm also one of those parents that will keep an eye on where my children are when we are out, however, I can't keep my eyes on them all of the time and must admit I've gotten a lot more relaxed at the mall where it seems there is a real danger of paedophiles staking them out and then lurking in the toilet cubicles as the guy in The Dominion Post says he did.

I think I need to go out and do some gardening.

Related Link: In the mind of a child molester