With the resignation of Wellington's sole child cancer specialist, the Health Department has sprung into action. Reporter ZenTiger interviewed a senior Health Dept Official (HDO):
Zen: So what are you doing about this?
HDO: We've hired another 4 bureaucrats to investigate the fallout. It's pretty scary, let me tell you.
Zen: Four bureaucrats? What is their purpose?
HDO: Well, we have one new analyst crunching the numbers in a specially designed spreadsheet that another new policy analyst has devised. And we have hired one new manager to look after this crack team.
Zen: Well, that's three. What's the last one do?
HDO: Well, it's the weirdest thing. The spreadsheet is getting all sorts of errors and we cannot work out where the formula is going wrong. We know we have around 30 current patients, and we've entered in a projected case load of 11 more patients, and then we divide by the number of specialists and wham! Weird error. This could take months to sort out. I've got the last guy working on this, but he's drawn a blank. I'm looking at outsourcing this phase of the analysis, quite frankly.
Zen: Have you considered that having NO specialists is creating a divide by zero error?
HDO: Crikey. I think you've cracked it. Well, that's not good is it? I'm not sure our systems have been designed to cope with no doctors. Golly. That's going to make our stats look bad. I wonder if we can reduce the waiting lists to 3 months to compensate? [Turns to the door] "Hey Quentin, crunch the numbers on 3 months"
Zen: So, have you considered the impact of the kinds of policies that obviously created this situation?
HDO: No, that hasn't been part of our mandate. Not a bad idea though. You think we should hire more bureaucrats then? Get a new team together. Crunch some new numbers?
Zen: (Sigh)
HDO: You don't have any spreadsheet templates for this do you?
Related Link: Wellington's last child cancer Dr turns the lights off on the way out.
Zen: So what are you doing about this?
HDO: We've hired another 4 bureaucrats to investigate the fallout. It's pretty scary, let me tell you.
Zen: Four bureaucrats? What is their purpose?
HDO: Well, we have one new analyst crunching the numbers in a specially designed spreadsheet that another new policy analyst has devised. And we have hired one new manager to look after this crack team.
Zen: Well, that's three. What's the last one do?
HDO: Well, it's the weirdest thing. The spreadsheet is getting all sorts of errors and we cannot work out where the formula is going wrong. We know we have around 30 current patients, and we've entered in a projected case load of 11 more patients, and then we divide by the number of specialists and wham! Weird error. This could take months to sort out. I've got the last guy working on this, but he's drawn a blank. I'm looking at outsourcing this phase of the analysis, quite frankly.
Zen: Have you considered that having NO specialists is creating a divide by zero error?
HDO: Crikey. I think you've cracked it. Well, that's not good is it? I'm not sure our systems have been designed to cope with no doctors. Golly. That's going to make our stats look bad. I wonder if we can reduce the waiting lists to 3 months to compensate? [Turns to the door] "Hey Quentin, crunch the numbers on 3 months"
Zen: So, have you considered the impact of the kinds of policies that obviously created this situation?
HDO: No, that hasn't been part of our mandate. Not a bad idea though. You think we should hire more bureaucrats then? Get a new team together. Crunch some new numbers?
Zen: (Sigh)
HDO: You don't have any spreadsheet templates for this do you?
Related Link: Wellington's last child cancer Dr turns the lights off on the way out.