With the resignation of Wellington's sole child cancer specialist, the Health Department has sprung into action. Reporter ZenTiger interviewed a senior Health Dept Official (HDO):
Zen: So what are you doing about this?
HDO: We've hired another 4 bureaucrats to investigate the fallout. It's pretty scary, let me tell you.
Zen: Four bureaucrats? What is their purpose?
HDO: Well, we have one new analyst crunching the numbers in a specially designed spreadsheet that another new policy analyst has devised. And we have hired one new manager to look after this crack team.
Zen: Well, that's three. What's the last one do?
HDO: Well, it's the weirdest thing. The spreadsheet is getting all sorts of errors and we cannot work out where the formula is going wrong. We know we have around 30 current patients, and we've entered in a projected case load of 11 more patients, and then we divide by the number of specialists and wham! Weird error. This could take months to sort out. I've got the last guy working on this, but he's drawn a blank. I'm looking at outsourcing this phase of the analysis, quite frankly.
Zen: Have you considered that having NO specialists is creating a divide by zero error?
HDO: Crikey. I think you've cracked it. Well, that's not good is it? I'm not sure our systems have been designed to cope with no doctors. Golly. That's going to make our stats look bad. I wonder if we can reduce the waiting lists to 3 months to compensate? [Turns to the door] "Hey Quentin, crunch the numbers on 3 months"
Zen: So, have you considered the impact of the kinds of policies that obviously created this situation?
HDO: No, that hasn't been part of our mandate. Not a bad idea though. You think we should hire more bureaucrats then? Get a new team together. Crunch some new numbers?
Zen: (Sigh)
HDO: You don't have any spreadsheet templates for this do you?
Related Link: Wellington's last child cancer Dr turns the lights off on the way out.
Zen: So what are you doing about this?
HDO: We've hired another 4 bureaucrats to investigate the fallout. It's pretty scary, let me tell you.
Zen: Four bureaucrats? What is their purpose?
HDO: Well, we have one new analyst crunching the numbers in a specially designed spreadsheet that another new policy analyst has devised. And we have hired one new manager to look after this crack team.
Zen: Well, that's three. What's the last one do?
HDO: Well, it's the weirdest thing. The spreadsheet is getting all sorts of errors and we cannot work out where the formula is going wrong. We know we have around 30 current patients, and we've entered in a projected case load of 11 more patients, and then we divide by the number of specialists and wham! Weird error. This could take months to sort out. I've got the last guy working on this, but he's drawn a blank. I'm looking at outsourcing this phase of the analysis, quite frankly.
Zen: Have you considered that having NO specialists is creating a divide by zero error?
HDO: Crikey. I think you've cracked it. Well, that's not good is it? I'm not sure our systems have been designed to cope with no doctors. Golly. That's going to make our stats look bad. I wonder if we can reduce the waiting lists to 3 months to compensate? [Turns to the door] "Hey Quentin, crunch the numbers on 3 months"
Zen: So, have you considered the impact of the kinds of policies that obviously created this situation?
HDO: No, that hasn't been part of our mandate. Not a bad idea though. You think we should hire more bureaucrats then? Get a new team together. Crunch some new numbers?
Zen: (Sigh)
HDO: You don't have any spreadsheet templates for this do you?
Related Link: Wellington's last child cancer Dr turns the lights off on the way out.
Crap! The number of administration staff has increased at a lower rate than medical staff under labour. The policies that dramatically increased admin in hospitals came from the 90's when National had the bright idea of runnung hospitals like a business. Those are the facts. Jeff
ReplyDeleteBut the number of bureaucrats is not zero is it?
ReplyDeleteThe establishment of the 21 DHBs was meant to trigger a smaller Health Ministry. I think that was a "promise". As far as I know, the Health Ministry GREW instead, and the DHBs added many more administrators.
They may well be needed, but the main point here is they don't count for much if there are no Doctors for them to "administer".
You blame National for the woes of the hospitals. Labour have had 8 years now to fix it. They've thrown a lot of money at it, but seemingly in the wrong areas.
I'm still getting a divide by zero error in the Wellington Oncology Department here.
Anonymous
ReplyDeleteBollox. The twist in the tail in your statement is the fact that many doctors are leaving NZ because the system sucks.
When they get replaced, Labour counts them as a new doctor - when they are not. they merely fill an empty position.
Administrators have a much lower attrition rate and in fact, as Zen rightly points out, their numbers have risen.
Even the MoH knows this and is giving serious consideration to reducing the number of DHBs below 22.
Hope those doctors leaving aren't bothering to come here, cos it ain't much better here in OZ..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAdministrators are required. Notable is the new hybrid position of 'doctor assistant' to be developed in future. If you want sophisticated health care that is cognizant of all social/cultural/cause du jour as well as medicine then you need efficient para-medicals to support the expensively trained docs. Just as unaffordable as an allegedly inefficiently bureaucracy is the loss of those doctors to the extend that 45% of GPs are foreign trained.
ReplyDeleteI'll say it again, if you want to buy sophisticated, cutting edge health care you need an export economy that does more than push milk and speculate on property with the savings of 'German dentists' and 'Japanese housewives'.