Selfishness is warping marriage, amoung other things

Last night I put up a post on the coming push for gay marriage in NZ (civil unions are not enough, it seems). An anonymous commenter put up the thought that infertile people ought not to be allowed to get married, in response to the idea that marriage is about children.

I think the problem is worse than just this commenter's ignorant comment. Many people have turned marriage into the fulfilment of a dream, where all their desires will be met. It's just not that way. Marriage requires sacrifice and a constant giving of yourself, otherwise it will not succeed.

I came across an article this morning on why 20 somethings aren't marrying. Selfishness is one of the reasons. I think selfishness is also a major reason that gay marriage proponents keep on trying to change society to suit themselves. Having a civil union is not enough, they need to destroy what marriage is so that they can do it too.

You really do need love (the kind of love that desires to serve without reward) to survive marriage. There are many joyful and beautiful moments that touch you emotionally. It is not all about an act of the will "despite" feelings. But many times you are called upon to love without feeling it. And that is where people run into problems.

My answers to the interviewers questions [why 20-somethings aren't marrying] can be summarized as follows:

1) Selfishness. People are selfish, and that is fallen human nature at work. You can't blame a generation of poor catechesis on this. Selfishness is overcome by the constant practice of giving yourself away, which is an "action", not something you read about. Actions of love are the responsibility of parental direction. Kids who have not been challenged or had a proper training of their will just don't have the tools as an adult to give themselves away. Therefore, they are not yet ready for marriage, and they spend their 20's figuring that out.

For more, read: Why twenty-somethings are not marrying