A common theme seems to be that some boys who haven't had their masculinity positively affirmed as they were growing up sexualise what is missing in them and seek it in others.
These are not "pray the gay away" type stories. They require work, hard work.
Before, I was powerfully attracted to men sexually, but I didn't like them as people. I craved their bodies and their attention, but I didn't like men in a fraternal, platonic way. I didn't want to be around them. I didn't feel like one of them.
In therapy, I uncovered abuse issues and dealt with the lingering impact of peer abuse and bullying in my past, as well as my disaffection from my father and other men. I discovered how those things had put me on a track of isolation and alienation from other males and from my own masculinity that I had been unconsciously trying to heal through homosexual lust, without ever realizing that's what was driving those feelings. I had this lust-hate relationship with men where I wanted them sexually but I had vengeful feelings for them at the same time.
These are not "pray the gay away" type stories. They require work, hard work.
After years of trying to pray the attractions away, wish them away, trying willpower and more and more religious zeal, at last I discovered reparative therapy and books and other resources that showed me a way out. I began uncovering and healing the underlying wounds and emotional pain, and as I did, my sexual desire for men began to dissipate, then disappear.Related link: People Can Change
It was a miracle - but not the overnight miracle I had prayed for all those years. It was a hard-work miracle, where God led me to new resources and support and knowledge and people. He led me through the difficult, painful work of healing that I needed to do.
A bit like 'anger management' doncha think?
ReplyDeleteAdolf,
ReplyDeleteYeah, sort of.
I think most of us are broken in various ways.