Evening All. Lucyna, Murray tells me you are laying on the pizza. My warped mind conjures up many visions but I do hope the pizza is alright.

Enough of smart arse comments. How are you all getting on over there? I can't wait for Bernard to get Sir Humps back on the air. So much to say and so few words available. Never mind. Our net immigrations figures seem to be still positive, according to Radio Left Wing. What they fail to reveal of course, is that we lost Dr Brash to Cambodia and replaced him with Sonic from Scotland.

So has anyone seen That Catholic Show yet?

Sonic? the poor wee thing.

Hi Adolf!

I'm going with the fire theme - different picture each fortnight. I might move onto to BBQ pictures as we get into summer. Gives it a certain ambience, don't you think?

SH has been down for a while now. I'm sure many people are missing it, too. There's a void.

Oh and we tried two new Dominoes pizzas tonight - meat pie (strange but alright) and a fetta vegetarian. My husband looked at both with a wary eye, so will probably not let me choose the pizzas next week.

Obnoxious little foreign git coming here telling us how to live in our own country.

Who does he think he is, Helen Clark?

Of course not, she wouldn't wear skirts.

James, no. Tried to look at it, but it seems to be running very slowly right now. I'll try again later. Looks interesting.

Evening all. I hope the week was good for you. After pulling an all-nighter (well damn close anyway) I'm looking forward to a quiet evening.

A glass of red or a Carlsberg should do me in quite nicely...

A religion type joke for the evening since that seems to be the theme lately...

A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears several confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand."

The new priest tries this.

The old priest then suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on, and I understand, how did you feel about that?"

The new priest says those things, trying them out.

The old priest concludes, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, 'No way! What happened next?'"

That's not bad. It's almost funny. Actually, I think I might have smiled!

Steady, it could lead to dancing.

Adolf, if you're after somewhere to vent, I can offer you a guest spot at our place (halfdone) if you're interested.

If you want to talk about priests, I have a good one.

There was this new priest, who was taking his first sermon. He is nervous, but then he finds a bold under the pulpit and finds that turning it helps calm his nerves.

After the service, on of the congregation comes up to him and says "were you nervous Father?". He says "well, yes, did it show?".

No, he replied. "But the whole time you were preaching, the cross on the pulpit was twirling like a helicopter".

Heh :)

Also, just posed a putrid comment as a post re: S59. Astonishingly disgusting "we can't trust parents".

Scrubone, what's a "bold"?

Sorry, that should read "Bolt"

It's the "T".

LOL Onion headline: “ACLU Defends Nazi’s Right to Burn Down ACLU Headquarters,”

Ah, ok. Now the joke makes sense.

Favourite religious joke:

Two cars collide at an intersection, total wreckage and destruction. Out of one steaming wreck crawls Rabbi Goldberg, from the other Father O'Hara, both shaken and unharmed. 'Holy Mother'stammers O'Hara 'its a miracle we're not killed'
'Thank G-d' says Goldberg, 'Whose mercy has spared us'

Amazed they realise that providence has prevailed and they wonder why.

'Perhaps its to make us forget our differences and work together for the good of man and God.' Says the priest
'I agree' says Goldberg, 'This is a solemn moment, we must bury our prejudice and bow before our creator. And look here's another sign, a bottle of mevushal wine has survived the smash. Unbroken!!

'Its a sign to be sure' said O'Hara.
I think the Almighty left it to us to seal our new life's work said the Rabbi, 'here brother..' he cracked the top and gave it to O'Hara who drank deeply and passed the bottle back to Golberg who screwed the cap back on.

'You're not drinking?' said the priest.

'Nah, I might join you after the cops have been'

Evening,
Did you know that if you switch your gas account to Mercury Energy before 31 August you’ll go into the draw to win a $500 travel voucher from Flight Centre.

Hi Dave, we're on the other thread ... I'll go and change the time on it so it floats to the top again.