[The planet] has about four to seven years before it runs out of IP addresses totally, according to a report by market researcher Frost & Sullivan. For some countries, the problem is now, according to Sam Masud, principal analyst for carrier infrastructure at the firm. It's been known for years that the number of IP addresses was dwindling, but there wasn't as much specificity as to when. Now Masud is predicting 2010 will be when the world runs out, based on current rates of consumption.
[SATIRE BEGINS]
As the world struggles to dole out IP addresses to millions of new internet devices coming on stream, like the iPhone, freedom fighter Michael Moore has released a damning documentary exposing huge reserves of IP addresses in the hands of a few multi-nationals, universities and most sinisterly, the US Department of Defence.
Says Moore, "It's a nightmare scenario predicted by environmentalists world wide. Many have been predicting peak internet usage for years, and it's going to hit hard."
Third world countries and developing nations exempt from Kyoto taxes also appear to be short IP addresses of their own. "China, for instance, has fewer IP addresses allocated than Stanford University. And the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) has more IP addresses than all of Asia."
New Zealand was likely to be affected unless something was done urgently. Labour have put forward an IP Trading Scheme, but the Greens think it doesn't go far enough. They would prefer to see web sites and blogs rationed, rather than limiting IP access. “Clearly, it’s what people are doing with the IP that needs regulation. We could follow China’s lead in the area of knowledge conservation”
Labour responded quickly to the crisis, and the A-Team of Mike Williams and Dr Cullen announced they had just negotiated a deal for only $695 million dollars for the exclusive purchase of an class A IP address, allowing New Zealand to stock pile millions of addresses.
The Class A IP address they purchased was 256.0.0.0 (see footnote 1).
They paid in advance. (see footnote 2)
Others have put forward plans to ration IP, instituting IP-less days and possibly a TCP tax of $13 per octet with a data volume modifier.
Consumer groups have reacted angrily, claiming that dynamic IP users may gain preferential treatment over static IP. They point to the Green Party example, where Russel Norman has made use of Dynamic MP List Assignment to the detriment of Static MP List Members.
The BRT declared that their name actually stood for Business Router Table, and suggested that any IP taxes would have to exempt VPN use and the practice of IP tunneling. Novell suggested IPX/SPX might be ready to make a resurgence and quickly filed copyright. Consumer groups thought that whole paragraph just sounded weird and should be banned on principle.
Libertarian Nerds around the world argued that whatever protocol is adopted between two consenting parties should require nothing more than a handshake.
"Hah Hah, get a taste of peak oil and global warming all rolled into one big technology meltdown" crowed Eric Fields, a rabid Green party member who wished to remain anonymous. Of course, not understanding technology we traced him very easily, hacked his mobile phone and sent the message "there is an infiltrator in your protest group" to his address list. Muppet.
Eric added, "I may not understand technology but I do know once you've run out of IP addresses, you are screwed. Let's see science solve this one."
Related Link: IP Addresses generate Peak Internet Scare
Other Stories: IP running out. Oh horror, think of the children processes
Footnote 1: This is funny. Trust me.
Footnote 2: This is funnier. But no one would be laughing.
[SATIRE BEGINS]
As the world struggles to dole out IP addresses to millions of new internet devices coming on stream, like the iPhone, freedom fighter Michael Moore has released a damning documentary exposing huge reserves of IP addresses in the hands of a few multi-nationals, universities and most sinisterly, the US Department of Defence.
Says Moore, "It's a nightmare scenario predicted by environmentalists world wide. Many have been predicting peak internet usage for years, and it's going to hit hard."
Third world countries and developing nations exempt from Kyoto taxes also appear to be short IP addresses of their own. "China, for instance, has fewer IP addresses allocated than Stanford University. And the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) has more IP addresses than all of Asia."
New Zealand was likely to be affected unless something was done urgently. Labour have put forward an IP Trading Scheme, but the Greens think it doesn't go far enough. They would prefer to see web sites and blogs rationed, rather than limiting IP access. “Clearly, it’s what people are doing with the IP that needs regulation. We could follow China’s lead in the area of knowledge conservation”
Labour responded quickly to the crisis, and the A-Team of Mike Williams and Dr Cullen announced they had just negotiated a deal for only $695 million dollars for the exclusive purchase of an class A IP address, allowing New Zealand to stock pile millions of addresses.
The Class A IP address they purchased was 256.0.0.0 (see footnote 1).
They paid in advance. (see footnote 2)
Others have put forward plans to ration IP, instituting IP-less days and possibly a TCP tax of $13 per octet with a data volume modifier.
Consumer groups have reacted angrily, claiming that dynamic IP users may gain preferential treatment over static IP. They point to the Green Party example, where Russel Norman has made use of Dynamic MP List Assignment to the detriment of Static MP List Members.
The BRT declared that their name actually stood for Business Router Table, and suggested that any IP taxes would have to exempt VPN use and the practice of IP tunneling. Novell suggested IPX/SPX might be ready to make a resurgence and quickly filed copyright. Consumer groups thought that whole paragraph just sounded weird and should be banned on principle.
Libertarian Nerds around the world argued that whatever protocol is adopted between two consenting parties should require nothing more than a handshake.
"Hah Hah, get a taste of peak oil and global warming all rolled into one big technology meltdown" crowed Eric Fields, a rabid Green party member who wished to remain anonymous. Of course, not understanding technology we traced him very easily, hacked his mobile phone and sent the message "there is an infiltrator in your protest group" to his address list. Muppet.
Eric added, "I may not understand technology but I do know once you've run out of IP addresses, you are screwed. Let's see science solve this one."
Related Link: IP Addresses generate Peak Internet Scare
Other Stories: IP running out. Oh horror, think of the children processes
Footnote 1: This is funny. Trust me.
Footnote 2: This is funnier. But no one would be laughing.
Clearly you too watched Die Hard 4.0 and burst out "that's not an internet address" when Bruce's accomplices "found" the evil guy :)
ReplyDeleteI did actually.
ReplyDeleteI also read somewhere that it might have been a deliberate error.
Apparently all phone numbers in movies, when shown, start with 555-, which is not a valid series.
Some people take the movies so seriously they figure the person is at the end of that number and phone them up. Legend has it that the joke fell flat when the number of a brothel turned out to be a women's refuge, and some idiots tried the number, hoping to score...
...so theoretically, we don't get some sad, clever but stupid nerd doing a DoS attack on some innocent IP, convinced the address specified is actually used by a covert CIA funded agency.