A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician see two people walk into a house. A few minutes pass, then they see three people leave the house.
The biologist concludes that the people must have reproduced.
The physicist concludes that the original measurement must have contained an inaccuracy.
The mathematician concludes that if one person enters the house it will be empty again.
And the religious person concludes that it must be the work of the devil. There, I can stereotype too.
ReplyDeleteTouched a nerve Christopher?
ReplyDeleteYour response is too generalized. How about:
Two people walk into a house, and three walk out. A Mormon says "one of them must have already been there knocking"
Two people walk into a house, and three walk out. A Muslim says that one is deduced to be a women escorted by her two brothers.
Two people walk into a house, and three walk out. A Christian says all who come to my house will see the trinity revealed.
--OK, it was off the top of my head, but you get the idea. So are you in Maths, Biology, or Physics?
What other mathematicians and philosophers have said:
ReplyDeleteMath is the language God used to write the universe.
God is real, unless proclaimed integer.
He who can properly define and divide is to be considered a god. (Plato)
My favourite one about biologists even has a moral.
ReplyDelete--
A group of biologists meet a group of statisticians on a train bound to a big evolution conference. The biologists are surprised to see that the statisticians have only one ticket between them. Before they can ask what's going on a statistician spies the conductor and before he can see them all the statisticians cram into the bathroom. The biologists get their tickets clipped then the conductor knocks on the bathroom door and asks "tickets please". One ticket emerges from under the door, gets clipped and 5mins later the statisticians emerge having each paid for one 1/nth of their trip.
On the way back the same people meet on the same train. This time the biologists give a knowing smile as they show the statisticians their single ticket. But the statisticians have gone one further and are completely ticketless! Again, before they can get to the bottom of the statisticians new model one of them announces the conductor is on the way. The biologists run into the bathroom and wait. The statisticians don't do anything for a few moments then one of them knocks on the door and announces "tickets please", takes the ticket that appears below the door and leaves the biologists with some explaining to do when they emerge.
The moral? Biologists should not use statistical methods they don't understand!
I know, it's a long way to get there, perhaps it's more a joke for scientists than about them.
Very cruel. Speaking of Statisticians:
ReplyDeleteA statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say that on the average he feels fine.