School Teachers and Parents have created a new contact sport called "Dodge the Cane".
Students are evidentially keen to play. A contract is signed by the child (or an X marks the spot with a suitable witness) saying they agree to play this new "sport" called "dodge the cane". The alternative game is "no TV until age 18" which hasn't seemed to catch on, as all children seem to much prefer the first option.
Given that children freely consent (after all, children are the same as adults and can be reasoned with), a prominent lawyer has confirmed that the State has no ability to interfere. Children who have signed up for this game say that it's good that it doesn't interfere with their ability to watch TV and get pocket money, and they accept the occasional sore bum or hand in playing this highly exciting and fun contact sport.
The more experienced you get at it, the greater the handicap system. Adding weights to the feet and hands makes dodging more difficult etc. It's brilliant fun, and conducted at random times during the day whenever the child initiates a "request" for such a game.
With recent moves from the government to make sporting clubs charities, it is expected tax payer funding will supplement the thousands of clubs that are likely to pop-up, with parents already queuing to sign their children up.
"It's safer than rugby", gushed a Christchurch Mum, "and my little devil is such a natural at it, that it opens the way for him to go professional and play for New Zealand in the World Smack-Down champs later this year. He got a wild card invite when he trashed the family car at age 12 and almost killed the passenger. We've decided motor sports is far too dangerous and think the Dodge the Cane game the way to focus is infrequent outbursts."
Sue Bradford, from the NZ Greens was reportedly furious about this new sport. "Now that smacking is well and truly banned, banning contact sports was next on my list, and this only accelerates that plan." Sue then reportedly threw her toys out of the cot and sat in the corner and sulked.
Students are evidentially keen to play. A contract is signed by the child (or an X marks the spot with a suitable witness) saying they agree to play this new "sport" called "dodge the cane". The alternative game is "no TV until age 18" which hasn't seemed to catch on, as all children seem to much prefer the first option.
Given that children freely consent (after all, children are the same as adults and can be reasoned with), a prominent lawyer has confirmed that the State has no ability to interfere. Children who have signed up for this game say that it's good that it doesn't interfere with their ability to watch TV and get pocket money, and they accept the occasional sore bum or hand in playing this highly exciting and fun contact sport.
The more experienced you get at it, the greater the handicap system. Adding weights to the feet and hands makes dodging more difficult etc. It's brilliant fun, and conducted at random times during the day whenever the child initiates a "request" for such a game.
With recent moves from the government to make sporting clubs charities, it is expected tax payer funding will supplement the thousands of clubs that are likely to pop-up, with parents already queuing to sign their children up.
"It's safer than rugby", gushed a Christchurch Mum, "and my little devil is such a natural at it, that it opens the way for him to go professional and play for New Zealand in the World Smack-Down champs later this year. He got a wild card invite when he trashed the family car at age 12 and almost killed the passenger. We've decided motor sports is far too dangerous and think the Dodge the Cane game the way to focus is infrequent outbursts."
Sue Bradford, from the NZ Greens was reportedly furious about this new sport. "Now that smacking is well and truly banned, banning contact sports was next on my list, and this only accelerates that plan." Sue then reportedly threw her toys out of the cot and sat in the corner and sulked.
Where's Mr Chips when you need him!
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