Chris Trotter, broken record for the Labour Party, speaks from his Ivory Tower in Isengard. In last Friday's DomPost opinion piece he is warning Helen her Orcs are not bloodthirsty enough. With traitors everywhere, and Sauron on the rise, about to take Singapore (in the land of Mordor, not Asia), he spells out his precioussss plan for Labour. That nassty Auditors-General still figures. As does Gandalf. Is anyone thinking that Chris Trotter is just a few pledges short of an election campaign?
I'm happy to provide translation services from Commie to Kiwi. But it isn't pretty. Sorry, not much I can do about that. He is losing it. Staring into those Orthancs will do it. The future is not looking good for Labour.
Commie Speak: Oops! There goes another piece of Government legislation.
Translation: Whenever the Labour Party put forward a bill, we assume it is already passed and can be called "legislation". I'm really trying to underscore the point that Labour are being unjustly held back from making any laws they damn well please.
Commie Speak: Much more of this and we'll have to start calling it a trend.
Translation: Should we be paying attention to the peasants?
Commie Speak: We might also have to stop referring to NZ First and United Future as the Government's "support parties".
Translation: The traitorous curs are on notice.
Commie speak: Because, I'm sorry Dr Cullen...
Translation: I'm not sorry. This is a warning Cullen baby.
Commie Speak: ...but refusing to back Labour's push for state-funded election campaigns just doesn't sound very supportive to me.
Translation: Just because Labour got caught trying to raid tax payer funds, doesn't mean you should be backing down. It sounds to me you've lost your nerve. Remember, Labour are the masters. These peasants are the slaves. You don't back down. You don't show weakness. You're a history teacher. Remember the Gulags? We can re-educate you.
Commie Speak: And your response to their lack of support which has, so far, amounted to not much more than a cheery, "Oh dear, what a pity, never mind" strikes me as just a little too sanguine. Your party's coffers are empty, and by "empty" I mean penniless, cleaned-out, skint, busted, and stony-flat-broke.
Translation: Except for our $12 million dollar property portfolio, and the half a million in donations to repay the money we stole (which we haven't repaid yet and probably never will) we don't have enough to fund the next election, unless we actually got out and did some fund raising, which is obviously beneath us.
Commie speak: If $1.4 million isn't going to be stumped up by the taxpayer, exactly who is it going to be stumped up by?
Translation: If $1.4 million isn't going to be stumped up by the taxpayer, exactly who is it going to be stumped up by?
Commie Speak: The party membership? Think again. They are still financially fund-raising to pay off the half-million-dollars-worth of debt the party ran up of it's own account in 2005
Translation: We have 4 official party members. They are getting tired of buying their own sausages at their own sausage sizzles.
Commie Speak: and the $800,000 fine imposed by the auditor-general in 2006.
Translation: and Helen Clark putting her foot in it and promising to repay the $800,000 of public funds we took without legal authority, so now I've got to try and spin this "fine" angle for the next 299 Friday opinion pieces until people finally believe this crap I'm spouting.
Commie Speak: The unions? Nope. They're still trying to pay off the costs of their last big bargaining round.
Translation: Hah! Our secret weapon. We'll get the money from these guys, but this time it's softly-softly. So, nothing to see here, look the other way. Nudge nudge.
Commie Speak: The corporates? Don't be silly. Why would they give their money to Helen Clark, if they want to be ruled by John Key? As Elrond says to Gandalf in The Fellowship of the Ring: "Our list of allies grows thin."
Translation: Just about every example I can think of comes from a movie. Typically a fantasy. I think fantasy reflects my outlook on life perfectly. Yes, there is one ring that will bind them all. My precious ring. My preccciousss. Nasty Keeze will steal my precciouss.
Commie Speak: So, yes, you probably should say, "Oh dear". Because it really is "a pity". And though it might be a case of "never mind" now, it bloody well won't be in 2008. How to explain this laid-back, "What, me worry?" approach on the part of senior cabinet ministers? Have they simply given up? Did they secretly expect to lose in 2005, and so neglected to refill their emotional tanks? Has Labour's third term always been running on empty? I don't think it would be fair to say that of Helen Clark, but I'm not quite so confident about her colleagues.
Translation: I see traitors every where. United Future. NZ First. Cullen. The Cabinet. The Auditor-General. Taito Phillip-Field. Tamihere. Tariana Turia. The Maori Party. The voters. The parents. The Businesses. The Bollard. Those Farmers complaining about the exchange rate. Traitors, all of them. Every-where. Even in the cabinet. Every-where. It's just me and Helen. My preciousss. We must be ready for treachery. The Bradford. Is she really on my side? We must be carefuls.
Commie Speak: I'm hoping we're not looking at a situation akin to the fall of Singapore. In January and February of 1942, with the Japanese army advancing rapidly down the Malay peninsula, the British commanders of "impregnable" Singapore simply would not see the perilousness of their position. By the time the Japanese reached the city's outer defences it was too late.
Translation: If Lord of the Rings hasn't convinced you of Labour's divine right to rule, then maybe the Japs. Remember Changi?
Commie Speak: Though enjoying a large numerical advantage over his enemies (who, after advancing 800 kilometres in just 50 days, were close to exhaustion and operating without artillery) the British commander, Lieutenant General Arthur Percival, fell into a fatalistic funk. With the result that, following a brief but furious assault, the Japanese commander, General Tomoyuki, was astounded to receive the surrender of the 90,000 British and Commonwealth troops under Percival's command.
Translation: We must remember that no matter how strong the enemy appears, we can prevail. Because may not have God on our side (and as Godless heathens we don't need him anyway). But we have the yen on our side. Yes, Cullen could invest in the yen against the NZ currency, using the Cullen fund. We'll throw Bollard to the dogs like we did over Doone and bingo - the exchange rate gain can be piped into the Labour War Chest. Brilliant. And so fitting, since Key, as an ex trader, will be so impressed, will come over to the dark side. We will reveal to him that Helen is his mother. Oh yes, this plan is good.
Commie Speak: Helen Clark needs to keep a sharp eye out for any sign of similar fatalistic funks among her senior colleagues. Because even if Labour should find it impossible to refill its coffers for a conventional campaign against National in 2008, there are always alternatives to abject surrender.
Translation: If we can't rort the public purse, we have other options.
Commie Speak: She could, for example, take a leaf out of Mickey Savage's book and transform the next election into a referendum on matters very dear to the the hearts of Labour's core constituents. This might take the form of a state-backed scheme to get young people into their first home. Or a promise to eliminate the student-loans scheme (and recompense those who have already paid them off with a special tax rebate). Young workers could be promised the abolition of youth rates, and their older counterparts offered the legal authority to strike against "outsourcing", and in defence of their political, economic and social rights.
Translation: Bribes always have worked well in the past. Students were suckered last election. The malleable youth believe our lies, they will be good for a few votes. We can also do the "people versus the capitalist employers" ghost stories. That should shore up the votes.
Commie Speak: Better still, the prime minister could introduce all of these legislative reforms immediately and dare her "support parties" to vote against them. If the Greens, NZ First and United Future refused to back the Government's programme, then she could ask the governor-general to dissolve Parliament, and seek a positive mandate for change from the people.
Translation: I'm so f*cken arrogant, I think I can bribe the voters even if our comrades turn against us. Screw them.
Commie Speak: The alternative to rekindling the labour movement's fighting spirit, is for this Government to sit and wait for its right-wing enemies to progress to the very gates of "Helengrad".
Translation: Have we renamed "God Defend NZ" to "Godless defend Helengrad" yet? If not, why not?
Commie Speak: And the finance minister's "Oh dear, what a pity, never mind" response to Labour's repeated legislative defeats is unlikely to slow their advance. If Dr Cullen persists in playing General Percival to John Key's General Tomoyuki, then the prime minister must replace him with someone who is not only ready to fight but who is determined to win.
Translation: Cullen, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.
PS: Thanks for your years of faithful service. Do you see tears? No? Exactly. Excuse me, why are you still here? Send in Shane Jones, on your way out.
---------------------
Related Link: Defeat On The Horizon
I'm happy to provide translation services from Commie to Kiwi. But it isn't pretty. Sorry, not much I can do about that. He is losing it. Staring into those Orthancs will do it. The future is not looking good for Labour.
Commie Speak: Oops! There goes another piece of Government legislation.
Translation: Whenever the Labour Party put forward a bill, we assume it is already passed and can be called "legislation". I'm really trying to underscore the point that Labour are being unjustly held back from making any laws they damn well please.
Commie Speak: Much more of this and we'll have to start calling it a trend.
Translation: Should we be paying attention to the peasants?
Commie Speak: We might also have to stop referring to NZ First and United Future as the Government's "support parties".
Translation: The traitorous curs are on notice.
Commie speak: Because, I'm sorry Dr Cullen...
Translation: I'm not sorry. This is a warning Cullen baby.
Commie Speak: ...but refusing to back Labour's push for state-funded election campaigns just doesn't sound very supportive to me.
Translation: Just because Labour got caught trying to raid tax payer funds, doesn't mean you should be backing down. It sounds to me you've lost your nerve. Remember, Labour are the masters. These peasants are the slaves. You don't back down. You don't show weakness. You're a history teacher. Remember the Gulags? We can re-educate you.
Commie Speak: And your response to their lack of support which has, so far, amounted to not much more than a cheery, "Oh dear, what a pity, never mind" strikes me as just a little too sanguine. Your party's coffers are empty, and by "empty" I mean penniless, cleaned-out, skint, busted, and stony-flat-broke.
Translation: Except for our $12 million dollar property portfolio, and the half a million in donations to repay the money we stole (which we haven't repaid yet and probably never will) we don't have enough to fund the next election, unless we actually got out and did some fund raising, which is obviously beneath us.
Commie speak: If $1.4 million isn't going to be stumped up by the taxpayer, exactly who is it going to be stumped up by?
Translation: If $1.4 million isn't going to be stumped up by the taxpayer, exactly who is it going to be stumped up by?
Commie Speak: The party membership? Think again. They are still financially fund-raising to pay off the half-million-dollars-worth of debt the party ran up of it's own account in 2005
Translation: We have 4 official party members. They are getting tired of buying their own sausages at their own sausage sizzles.
Commie Speak: and the $800,000 fine imposed by the auditor-general in 2006.
Translation: and Helen Clark putting her foot in it and promising to repay the $800,000 of public funds we took without legal authority, so now I've got to try and spin this "fine" angle for the next 299 Friday opinion pieces until people finally believe this crap I'm spouting.
Commie Speak: The unions? Nope. They're still trying to pay off the costs of their last big bargaining round.
Translation: Hah! Our secret weapon. We'll get the money from these guys, but this time it's softly-softly. So, nothing to see here, look the other way. Nudge nudge.
Commie Speak: The corporates? Don't be silly. Why would they give their money to Helen Clark, if they want to be ruled by John Key? As Elrond says to Gandalf in The Fellowship of the Ring: "Our list of allies grows thin."
Translation: Just about every example I can think of comes from a movie. Typically a fantasy. I think fantasy reflects my outlook on life perfectly. Yes, there is one ring that will bind them all. My precious ring. My preccciousss. Nasty Keeze will steal my precciouss.
Commie Speak: So, yes, you probably should say, "Oh dear". Because it really is "a pity". And though it might be a case of "never mind" now, it bloody well won't be in 2008. How to explain this laid-back, "What, me worry?" approach on the part of senior cabinet ministers? Have they simply given up? Did they secretly expect to lose in 2005, and so neglected to refill their emotional tanks? Has Labour's third term always been running on empty? I don't think it would be fair to say that of Helen Clark, but I'm not quite so confident about her colleagues.
Translation: I see traitors every where. United Future. NZ First. Cullen. The Cabinet. The Auditor-General. Taito Phillip-Field. Tamihere. Tariana Turia. The Maori Party. The voters. The parents. The Businesses. The Bollard. Those Farmers complaining about the exchange rate. Traitors, all of them. Every-where. Even in the cabinet. Every-where. It's just me and Helen. My preciousss. We must be ready for treachery. The Bradford. Is she really on my side? We must be carefuls.
Commie Speak: I'm hoping we're not looking at a situation akin to the fall of Singapore. In January and February of 1942, with the Japanese army advancing rapidly down the Malay peninsula, the British commanders of "impregnable" Singapore simply would not see the perilousness of their position. By the time the Japanese reached the city's outer defences it was too late.
Translation: If Lord of the Rings hasn't convinced you of Labour's divine right to rule, then maybe the Japs. Remember Changi?
Commie Speak: Though enjoying a large numerical advantage over his enemies (who, after advancing 800 kilometres in just 50 days, were close to exhaustion and operating without artillery) the British commander, Lieutenant General Arthur Percival, fell into a fatalistic funk. With the result that, following a brief but furious assault, the Japanese commander, General Tomoyuki, was astounded to receive the surrender of the 90,000 British and Commonwealth troops under Percival's command.
Translation: We must remember that no matter how strong the enemy appears, we can prevail. Because may not have God on our side (and as Godless heathens we don't need him anyway). But we have the yen on our side. Yes, Cullen could invest in the yen against the NZ currency, using the Cullen fund. We'll throw Bollard to the dogs like we did over Doone and bingo - the exchange rate gain can be piped into the Labour War Chest. Brilliant. And so fitting, since Key, as an ex trader, will be so impressed, will come over to the dark side. We will reveal to him that Helen is his mother. Oh yes, this plan is good.
Commie Speak: Helen Clark needs to keep a sharp eye out for any sign of similar fatalistic funks among her senior colleagues. Because even if Labour should find it impossible to refill its coffers for a conventional campaign against National in 2008, there are always alternatives to abject surrender.
Translation: If we can't rort the public purse, we have other options.
Commie Speak: She could, for example, take a leaf out of Mickey Savage's book and transform the next election into a referendum on matters very dear to the the hearts of Labour's core constituents. This might take the form of a state-backed scheme to get young people into their first home. Or a promise to eliminate the student-loans scheme (and recompense those who have already paid them off with a special tax rebate). Young workers could be promised the abolition of youth rates, and their older counterparts offered the legal authority to strike against "outsourcing", and in defence of their political, economic and social rights.
Translation: Bribes always have worked well in the past. Students were suckered last election. The malleable youth believe our lies, they will be good for a few votes. We can also do the "people versus the capitalist employers" ghost stories. That should shore up the votes.
Commie Speak: Better still, the prime minister could introduce all of these legislative reforms immediately and dare her "support parties" to vote against them. If the Greens, NZ First and United Future refused to back the Government's programme, then she could ask the governor-general to dissolve Parliament, and seek a positive mandate for change from the people.
Translation: I'm so f*cken arrogant, I think I can bribe the voters even if our comrades turn against us. Screw them.
Commie Speak: The alternative to rekindling the labour movement's fighting spirit, is for this Government to sit and wait for its right-wing enemies to progress to the very gates of "Helengrad".
Translation: Have we renamed "God Defend NZ" to "Godless defend Helengrad" yet? If not, why not?
Commie Speak: And the finance minister's "Oh dear, what a pity, never mind" response to Labour's repeated legislative defeats is unlikely to slow their advance. If Dr Cullen persists in playing General Percival to John Key's General Tomoyuki, then the prime minister must replace him with someone who is not only ready to fight but who is determined to win.
Translation: Cullen, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.
PS: Thanks for your years of faithful service. Do you see tears? No? Exactly. Excuse me, why are you still here? Send in Shane Jones, on your way out.
---------------------
Related Link: Defeat On The Horizon
Typical Chris. I am waiting (vainly I suspect) for him and his lefties to finally stop trying to defend the indefensible.
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