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Helvetica font banned by Maori Party

Protected from the pretty colours and bold fonts
March 2014 - In a stunning blow to the Tobacco lobby, the government has banned the use of Helvetica font (and many others) on plain cigarette packaging. Once the new legislation is in force, advertisers will be forced to choose between only Courier and Times New Roman when adding printed messages on their products.

Whilst the bill was known as "Helvetica 12" the legislation included a long list of fonts that were now deemed illegal for the purposes of advertising.  The full list wasn't fully known as the list was delivered in 6 point font, and no-one had a magnifying glass handy.

Helvetica font was singled out based on solid, peer reviewed overseas research.  The study indicated consumers were more likely to buy a packet of cigarettes when noticing key words such as "Camel" in Helvetica 12, 14 and 16.  Young people aged 12, 14 and 16 were most susceptible according to the data.

"This is a fantastic win for consumers!" enthused Turia. "We realised that those evil Tobacco companies had cleverly chosen a font type that would lure hapless smokers and young children."

With the font loophole covered, Turia was confident that many smokers would now be able to quit, although there was a worry that Global Warming was also a major contributor to cigarette addiction.

/satire

Actually, what nauseated me more was the gushing article by Patrick Gower. It was just a little bit over the top.  An excerpt of his article illustrates my point:
The Government is going to introduce plain packaging - something that smashes ‘Big Tobacco’.

It is a body blow to Big Tobacco.


I think the taxes were smashing them more.

So stand up Tariana Turia, you have done what few other politicians can claim - beaten Big Tobacco, beaten the multi-nationals, beaten the industry, beaten the lobbyists.

Beaten them? That would be a straight out ban. Even so, the legislation isn't even passed yet. This is just the pre-match boasting.

In stripping the cigarette packets, Turia has stripped the tobacco companies of dignity.

Is that considered a win? How noble, attacking the so-called dignity of an organisation.

Any power the tobacco companies thought they may have had over the National Government is gone.
Turia has shown she has the power here.


John Key, lick her boots.

...now the branding is set to go altogether. All that investment down the years - struck out. All that intellectual property - deleted.

Again Patrick, so proud and excited that IP is destroyed?

In her retirement, Turia will be able to look at plain packaging and say ‘I did that’.


Full Article: The writing is on the wall

Blog Post: Plain Packaging On Smokes

Disclosure - I don't smoke. Never have.

Comments

  1. Actually Zen your satire isn't satire.

    The font is fixed by the legislation in Australia, courier, I think and its size is also fixed.

    TYhe whole thing is designed to make it as hard as possible for the retailers to identify the product the customer has asked for

    ReplyDelete
  2. Strewth - they really have gone completely mad.

    Dare I suggest that all such writing can only be in Swahili, or perhaps Arabic, and the word "cigarettes" cannot be used when asking for them, and indeed, purchase requests must be made through the art of mime?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here you go Zen the regulated font is Lucida Sans

    But here is the whole deal

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is just the start. Look at what's happened in New York City under that idiot Mayor Bloomberg. First, he went after the smokes, then salt, then trans-fat, then cups of cola bigger than 16fl oz (450 ml or thereabouts) and now he wants to go after Styrofoam.

    The world is running mad.

    ReplyDelete

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