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The cluster bomb

Kiwi children are running the gauntlet of fast-food restaurants every day – with outlets five times more likely to be clustered around schools, research shows.

And by running the gauntlet, are becoming extremely fit. Just imagine the gains if they put giant mouse wheels in front of fast food restaurants? But unfortunately, they didn't think of that. However, newer research [not yet released] shows that fast-food restaurants aren't being built around schools, but instead schools are being built around fast-food restaurants. Those lazy teachers.

The high number of burger joints and chip shops close to schools is thought to be a factor in the childhood-obesity epidemic sweeping the Western world.

Because walking past food is highly contagious. Can't people just get a vaccination for this and be protected? I heard a dose of the word "NO" can do wonders.

The problem has prompted the Secondary Principals Association to call for restrictions on what dairies near schools can sell during certain hours.

Thus proving Secondary Principals are ill-equipped to teach our children anything useful, unless they want to join the Hitler Youth Movement for their optional subject. The extremely reasonable and practical request to put half of the food on the top shelf between 8am and 4pm though doesn't take into account some kids are quite tall, but the Primary Principals Association (the cleverer ones) are calling for even higher shelves to be installed as mandatory and suggested a tax on ladders to remove the obvious loophole in such legislation.

A new study by Canterbury University's GeoHealth Laboratory shows that fast-food outlets are five times more likely to be clustered around schools than other areas. They are three times more likely to be nearby in poorer areas.

Did they also find schools were "clustered" around transport routes? Did they find that in areas of high density living they were "clustered" around shopping malls containing the aforementioned food stores, including yummy sushi, curries, and health conscious shops? Did they find that they were also "clustered" around school playing fields, sports centres and swimming pools? Is there no end to this madness where people refuse to build schools miles from civilisation?

"We would like to have some say in what can be sold in those dairies, particularly during school hours and after school finishes." Mr Walsh said it could be part of their licences that dairies agreed not to sell sugary and fatty foods at certain times.

But that at least paves the way for dairies to make money on alcohol, smokes and drugs. Or it paves the way for them to walk next door to the fast-food outlet (or was he going to simply ban those from operating?) But he has a point. I'd also like to have some input into what TV programs Mr Walsh watches, and what books he reads, because I think I could do a lot of good for Mr Walsh.

"We need support from the Government and parents. We can't do it alone.

So are you with me on fixing Mr Walsh? Don't worry, he'll thank us eventually.

The whole flavour of this article reminds me of Happy Days so long ago. All the time spent at the local fast-food outlet and Ritchie Cunningham and Fonzie didn't seem so chubby. So what went wrong?

Comments

  1. that problem is universal.

    every country have that problem.

    In Portugal our children doesn´t like salad and healthy foods....

    that´s the Computer and Mcdonald´s generation

    ReplyDelete

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