Sunday, March 14, 2010

ZenTiger SST Editor faces charges under terrorist act

STORY ONE OF THREE
The editor of the Sunday Star Times was in court today after 16 people were killed in a crowded stampede at a rugby stadium. The situation was caused when an SST reporter was caught with a fake bomb in their backpack. They explained to the security guard that it was all a big joke to point out how slack security was at these venues.

Unfortunately, a nearby witness caught a glimpse of the fake bomb, and screamed "bomb" before the reporter could show a signed note from the editor saying that the letterhead was not fake, but the bomb was, but feel free to beat the reporter whilst in custody so they could get another story out of the scam.

Meanwhile, once the scream "bomb" went up, the crowd went wild and stampeded for the exits. 15 people were crushed to death and the 16th, 99 year old rugby fan Martha Cruxton, had a heart attack thinking the match might be cancelled and died on the scene.

Once in front of the judge, charged with reckless endangerment caused by a mock terrorist act, with the editor facing life in prison the judge leaned back and laughed, saying "nah mate, we were just having you on." The judge continued: "This was just a fabricated story to see if the authorities would actually charge the culprit in the event the prank went horribly wrong. I guess we've proved our point."

Case dismissed.

STORY TWO OF THREE

The SST were embarrassed today when a courier bag delivered to the desk of an employee on holiday was finally opened to contain a fake bomb and a letter from the Dominion Post Editor suggesting that the SST take staff safety a little more seriously. The SST editor would have said the stunt was stupid and in poor taste, but realised he might be quoted on that, so shut up.

STORY THREE OF THREE
Ticket sales for the Rugby World Cup were brisk, even with the $10 per ticket security surcharge. Spectators were being warned to go at least a day before the advertised match to allow enough time to get through the security checks. One in 10 people were being stripped searched and taken out the back to be shot, as a warning to any potential terrorist. The Sunday Star Times was running a front page story deploring the excessive security measures and the flagrant breach of human rights.


[/Satire]
Link Story: Flaws in security exposed, flaws in media making up the news exposed too

2 comment(s):

homepaddock said...

Brilliant - Dim Post has competition for blogger of the year in the satirical category.

ZenTiger said...

Does he? Surely, he'd have to nominate himself?

Is he looking for satirical posts, or bloggers who by their nature seem to be a satire on blogging?

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