Adult Content. Rated "Over The Edge". My apologies for any offence caused. Sometimes, a mirror seems the most appropriate response, even if the reflection is ugly.
NZ Conservative has been outed as a masturbatory blogger, flashing our stats for all and sundry to see. It's time for me to come out and confess.
Yes, it is true. All true. Sob. Please, allow me to explain.
I once exposed my statistics willingly to all and sundry, not for the gratification, but because I had found out some-one was sneaking into my blog and perving at my stats without my knowledge.
They then published my stats on another blog, and (I’m embarrassed and humiliated to say) discovered they ranked me for size and penetration and the number of partners I had encountered during the month.
Is that rape or what?
Any normal person would have screamed “victim”, but I was of tougher mettle. I discovered this sad individual was doing this on a regular basis, across many blogs. And it took him hours and hours. Such staying power. Such compulsion.
And I felt sorry for him. Fancy that, having been violated in ways you can barely imagine (given the rather restrained tone of your post, I may be crediting you with virtue you may not have, but I’m a glass half full kind of blogger) rather than taking this person to task, I willingly exposed my stats, all nicely counted and emailed him the link, to save him time.
Wham bam, thank you m'am.
I may have started a trend. He thanked me and others started doing it.
Call me a trollop, maybe I was born bad?
Maybe I’m just damaged goods.
I hope one day you can look on me with respect, and that I can regain that sense of human dignity currently stripped from me for my fornicating ways.
So enough about stats, and more about whatever our other posts at NZC are about.
Although, a blog that just posted stats and nothing else would be even better.
Then it would become apparent that whatever the interest in masturbatory blogging might be, it is nothing compared to the voyeurs who look on feigning disinterest, or worse - disgust!
It's all fun until somebody gets hurt :-)
Related Link: Masturbatory Blogging
NZ Conservative has been outed as a masturbatory blogger, flashing our stats for all and sundry to see. It's time for me to come out and confess.
Yes, it is true. All true. Sob. Please, allow me to explain.
I once exposed my statistics willingly to all and sundry, not for the gratification, but because I had found out some-one was sneaking into my blog and perving at my stats without my knowledge.
They then published my stats on another blog, and (I’m embarrassed and humiliated to say) discovered they ranked me for size and penetration and the number of partners I had encountered during the month.
Is that rape or what?
Any normal person would have screamed “victim”, but I was of tougher mettle. I discovered this sad individual was doing this on a regular basis, across many blogs. And it took him hours and hours. Such staying power. Such compulsion.
And I felt sorry for him. Fancy that, having been violated in ways you can barely imagine (given the rather restrained tone of your post, I may be crediting you with virtue you may not have, but I’m a glass half full kind of blogger) rather than taking this person to task, I willingly exposed my stats, all nicely counted and emailed him the link, to save him time.
Wham bam, thank you m'am.
I may have started a trend. He thanked me and others started doing it.
Call me a trollop, maybe I was born bad?
Maybe I’m just damaged goods.
I hope one day you can look on me with respect, and that I can regain that sense of human dignity currently stripped from me for my fornicating ways.
So enough about stats, and more about whatever our other posts at NZC are about.
Although, a blog that just posted stats and nothing else would be even better.
Then it would become apparent that whatever the interest in masturbatory blogging might be, it is nothing compared to the voyeurs who look on feigning disinterest, or worse - disgust!
It's all fun until somebody gets hurt :-)
Related Link: Masturbatory Blogging
You are right on the edge with this post, Zen.
ReplyDeleteI am a bad person.
ReplyDeleteI think you will find that the correct term for this ailment is blogsturbation.
ReplyDeleteAnd if anyone is an expert on such things, it is BB . . . .
ReplyDeleteOuch...I would say even just tipped over the edge....is this a classic case of "don't drink and blog"? Could it be used as a precedent for BLOG101?
ReplyDeleteNo drink. Sometimes, a mirror seems the most appropriate response, even if the reflection is ugly.
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteIs this just 'cause MandM passed you on HalfDone's stats ;-)
ReplyDeleteI wish I had even that as a feeble excuse over the far more obvious tendency to write whatever I feel at the time, even if in poor taste :-)
ReplyDeleteThe above script was actually a comment on another blog, brain dumped in a minute or two, and then regurgitated as a post a little while later.
A quick re-read and I think I could have made it so much better, on several levels.
It could have been art, but I rushed it, and published prematurely.
Pointing out the emperor has no clothes might be considered perceptive. But when his nakedness is wrapped in a vinyl raincoat, it's just tawdry.
Oh well.
But is this post style new? Not really.
A couple of readers with a knack for remembering useless information will recall my posts from Sir Humphrey's (although unfortunately about 80% of them are no longer to be found on the net, alas) to see that I'm prone to taking a ridiculous position on something just to make an obscure point - one that often goes unremarked in any event :-)
Some of my favourite posts have zero comments.
But good work on your blog efforts. It's the last word that is the killer for me.
I get brief periods of time where I can put in a bit of effort and have time to write, and then real life intervenes and the pot is put back to simmer on the back element.
I read your comment on the other blog and added my own after it.
ReplyDeleteFor what it is worth, I really enjoyed your reductio ad absurdum. You pushed the line but I don't think you crossed it. I write things like this occaisionally, most of them get deleted before the post button gets pressed but a few get through.
Reductios are not about endorsing the views they are discussing but rather they demonstrate the ridiculous nature of the argument under critique. Shock value and extremeness of example are perfectly appropriate in a reductio as these sorts of examples more clearly demonstrate the error in the reasoning - besides it wasn't you who brought up masturbation.
I have no time for lets-pretend-I-don’t-care-if-people-like-my-blog false piety – it is as stupid as pretending that now you are an adult you don’t like receiving gifts on your birthday or that you don’t enjoy a compliment when you have made an effort with your appearance. What is wrong with saying “I did a good job, I got some recognition for it, and that gave me a smile.”
I also cannot stand the non-sequitur that if you pay attention to how your blog ranks then you are blogging for the wrong motives. It does not follow; it is not remotely the same thing.
Everyone who blogs cares about their readership levels, we would just send emails to ourselves if we didn’t. I am not going to be made to feel guilty for being pleased that people like what we are doing or that making an effort last month to keep the posting up paid off.
If I didn't get some feedback, be it comments, visitors, links, rankings, page rank, etc I don't know if I would keep it up - I am not a machine, I need encouragement occaisionally - especially to counter the abuse we bloggers take at times - and I don't enjoy speaking into silence.