The Mayor of Kapiti Coast District Council, Jenny Rowan, has stunned people world wide with a series of actions that can only be described as "miraculous".In her first act, she confidently walked on water - crossing the main river the Kapiti Coast draws it's water from without getting her feet wet. Whilst the event was witnessed, some skeptics point out the river was actually dry at the time.
The Mayor has gone on to promise creating MORE water simply by installing water meters in every home in the region at an estimated cost of 6 million dollars.
This move to create water from meters comes after a failed attempt by a previous Mayor to create water from bores. Whilst that cost millions more, and estimates turned out to be understated by millions again, it was agreed that it created more calcium than water, given the number of kettles destroyed by the calcified product.
Mayor Jenny Rowan is quietly confident that the water meters will create better quality water than bore water.
"People need to realise that water doesn't just fall from the sky" said the Mayor. "If it did, we could build a dam or something and store it."
"It's about time people realised that water is created by science, and in particular, scientific water meters. These ones will not only create more water, but more money for the Council. This money will be created out of the thin air surrounding your wallet.
The miracles do not end there though.
Rowan has created two FREE energy saver light-bulbs to EVERY home in the Kapiti Region. Scientists have confirmed that this simple act is beyond a mere mortal's capability, as it involves creating from nothing some 20,000 light bulbs conforming to international standards.
It also requires the generation of brochures and pamphlets to be created at no cost and somehow delivered at no cost to every home, and then it requires the creation of an army of people that walk around to every home delivering the light-bulbs - all apparently at no cost to anyone.
In other news, rates are set to increase due to additional costs.
Related News: Council does a U-Turn on water meters