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How tuck shop sausage rolls are destroying the planet

In a landmark study that combines two modern obsessions in one seminal paper, Phil Edwards and Ian Roberts have concluded that global warming is linked to obesity.
"Population fatness has an environmental impact," said Phil Edwards, from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. "We're all being told to stay fit and keep our weight down because it's good for our health. The important thing is that staying slim is good for your health and for the health of the planet."
It seems fat people emit more CO2* than thin people. Who would have ever guessed?

*A natural component of the atmosphere recently reclassified by the EPA as a pollutant.