Wednesday, August 12, 2009

ZenTiger MP Perks protected under contract - hah!

Hands off our Perks! say 140 ex MPs, fighting to keep their lifetime entitlements.

"Our conditions were set at the time for those members...and it's a contract between the Government and them which would be broken if it was changed by mutual agreement"

Unfortunately for these MPs, this argument falls flat in so many ways.

Let's play:

Bankruptcy
Auditors were called in today as John Key revealed the deficit was 8 billion dollars. Technically, the government is bankrupt and will have to be wound up. All previous contracts are null and void and we are expecting to pay out around 15 cents to each MP as compensation once other creditors have been paid. A new government will be formed once a new contract with the tax payers is established.

Legislation
Bill English today announced retrospective legislation, in the same style that the previous Labour Government used to ensure they were not found guilty of misspending. This retrospective legislation sets in place the illegality of MPs claiming life time perks for a short term job. All current MPs receiving these illegal benefits will be put on trial for flagrant violation of the new legislation, back dated to 1980.

Contracts
John Key has announced that the constant tax increases over the last 40 years have been illegally obtained, as no signed contract can be found between the government and the tax payer. Consequently, all funds received by MPs are now classified as coming from an illegal activity, and are forfeit under common law. National will be looking at a tax payer contract to go out in the next tax pack, and in the meantime are asking for voluntary donations. All MPs have announced that they will not be leading by example.

Politics
MP life time benefits have been cancelled. In spite of the supposed "contract" with MPs, the government pointed out it has constantly screwed other parties and arbitrarily changed the rules of the game. The government is about to do this again with superannuation rules. "As retired MPs well know, the government of the day can do pretty much anything it likes. They are fully entitled to complain, just like every other New Zealander, but that's it. Besides, when they retire they get a gold card offering free off peak travel. They should use it while they can, because we might even cancel that next week."

Referendum
The 140 MPs campaigning for life time entitlements today failed to gather the required 300,000 signatures to force a non-binding public referendum on the issue. They were only 299,861 signatures short, with one MP refusing to sign the petition in the absence of a party whip. John Key expressed great disappointment that the required number of signatures had been reached. "This would have been the ideal referendum to ignore, but unfortunately, I'll never get that chance. This is a great failure in democracy."


Related Link: Front page Herald

1 comment(s):

muz said...

My lifetime drivers licence,my right to build my own home on my own land to suit my lifestyle and current needs,my rights to catch fish or gather shellfish for my family,my rights to own and bear arms for legal reasons,my right to medical treatment,my right to purchase and consume alcohol, my right to conduct my legal business where and when I wish, my right to die with dignity at my choosing, my right to camp on public land with my dogs(under control), I must go and do some more things I enjoy before the pollys ban, licence or otherwise try to control them

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