Tuesday, August 18, 2009

ZenTiger Sponsor a Child

The concept of sponsoring a child to direct your donation is a great idea, and it's a low cost way to really make a difference in the world. Some children can be sponsored for as little as $30 per month, and yet receive vital education and health resources that really give them a chance.

I urge all to sponsor a child today. Here's a sample list of worthy candidates. Remember, your donation can make a difference. Please consider.

Bill
Young Bill barely has a roof over his head. He holds refugee status, being separated from his homeland in the southern parts of wild and untamed New Zealand. Forced to relocate to a squat in Wellington, he finds it hard to make ends meet. Your 12.5% GST and 39% tax rate helps keep a roof over his head. He's managed to find a job which brings in a mere $276,000. Yes, it sounds a lot, but remember, that is in Kiwi dollars. His recent accommodation allowance has ended, and he has debts of over $12,000 to repay. If you could find an extra $40 a month, and get another 100 mates to chip in it will save the finance minister (no relation) from putting death duty on your 90 year old mums house, which is a fancy way of saying you don't deserve an inheritance. Please help.

Hulun
This young waif is known fondly in her global village as "Hulun". Her dream is to set up a welfare scheme for poor families, and call it "Working For Families", or WFF. Indeed, after a massive fund raising effort over 9 years she managed to do just this. However, on finding that some families are raking in extra money by moving their mortgages into an "LAQC" the WFF scheme has been renamed WTF!

This should have caused some embarrassment to young Hulun, but instead she's been adopted out to the United Nations and given a multi-billion dollar fund to do the same thing all over again.

Your donation of 160 million dollars a year via taxes is not enough to help her with her grand vision. Hulun receives a mere US$400,000 tax free income per year, so she will at least eat cake. However, she wants your cake too, so please cough up an extra $43 per month and encourage a million mates to do the same. Otherwise she'll have to put pressure on the Greens to convince John to instigate a capital gains tax. This means that if your 90 year old mum wants to move into a retirement village and sell the holiday batch she used as a savings vehicle, she'll be taxed all over again. And you can forget the inheritance. Please, think of Hulun.

Phil
Phil has learning disabilities. He's not very popular. Sometimes he throws his toys out of the cot. He is a victim of war, having been shot in the foot many times. Admittedly, by his own weapon, but that's what you get when you send children into a war zone. It's people like Phil that need your help the most. An extra $50 a month could help him hire a communications adviser, and be able to reach the hearts and minds of the village that has ostracised him. Yes, his home village called "Labour NZ" has ostracised Phil. This practice is worse than smacking, which has been outlawed, because it requires you to ignore everything anyone says, a bit like an ostrich with their head in the sand, or like a politician with their heads up their err, like a politician who heads up a pointless commission of inquiry whenever they want to defer meaningful action. Phil would really like to see everyone like himself on welfare. You can make this dream come true with a small donation and about 500,000 votes next election. Please help little Phil before it is too late.

Michael
Michael, or "Cullen" or "Rich Pr**k" as he is affectionately known, is one of our successful graduates on the "sponsor a child" program. Our last fund raising efforts were so successful, he ended up with a huge surplus of funds, which he used to buy a train set. Unfortunately, he left it out in the rain and it's now rusted and mostly worthless, but the smile on his face was reward enough. At least that's what we tell ourselves.

Cullen is now all grown up and working, delivering mail and licking stamps and sitting on various boards and living the high life. Whilst he no longer needs your money, there are many others like him needing your donation. Maybe you can write a cheque and post it somewhere. Preferably express post, to improve profits and help Cullen keep his job.


Related Link: Do I really need to put in all the links?

More children in need of sponsorship: Sponsor a child II

A real link: World Vision - Sponsor a Child

8 comment(s):

PM of NZ said...

Can I be sure that a goodly percentage will actually reach the child?

And not just line your pocket!

ZenTiger said...

Good question. I think if you check their bank accounts, you'll find heaps of money reached their pockets.

Young Cullen, one of our other disadvantaged children, managed to get into surplus and buy a train set.

Actually, maybe I'll add him to the roll call.

Andrei said...

You will be pleased to know that I have been supporting this cause for years now.

I'm not sure I can afford any more right now though.

FAIRFACTS MEDIA said...

Brilliant! But you missed a couple more.
What about those two naughty boys Chris and Roger.
Chris certainly gets around and Roger feels he is entitled to travel.

Leonidas said...

Once again, I humble myself before thee, master :)

ZenTiger said...

FFM: Good idea. Here we go: Sponsor a child II

Leonidas: You are too kind. Or English is a second language :-)

Leonidas said...

Nah, I simply aspire to your eloquence. I think this is pretty much the most amusing thing you've written since the Titanic Watch thread on Crusader Rabbit.

ZenTiger said...

Definitely too kind. That thread was a joint effort, that was.

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