[The ongoing Name Suppression Debate]Michael Laws is a natural born blogger without a blog. He's had to substitute hosting a radio talk back show, writing a column in the Sunday rag and lording it over the cities of Wanganui and Whanganui as their outspoken Mayor, but we know where his true calling lies.
As a natural born blogger, it would be fair to say he knows the beast well. He can think like them, order pizza like them, salivate over women like them and even smell like them, if it weren't for adhering to stringent Council Bylaws passed to keep the air freshener bill down after heated Council debates.
Thus he profiles us bloggers, nailing our anonymous hides to the wall, becoming instantly recognisable should we ever venture out of our darkened rooms to say, attend the annual Star Trek convention.
"Bloggers” are opinionated losers who spend way too much time in darkened rooms. They have porn addictions, staple microwave pizza to their bibs, are blubbery and smell.If you blog, leave a comment on how close you come to the profile.
This peculiar purview has been harboured ever since blogging became the online onanism. Which was the first day some idiot decided to anonymously opine and imagined that people gave a continental.
I’m probably still right. If I was to take a cross-section of bloggers I’d wager that most don’t have a partner or a wardrobe, are in desperate need of a stomach staple and regard deodorant as the devil’s snare. They would also be exceedingly jealous of each other: like literary fiction writers. Too many only children, I suspect.
The funniest thing I thought about his article was when mentioning Cameron Slater's blog handle: he goes by the oddest of blog monikers – Whale Oil. He might have more appreciation for the moniker if he used the full name: Whale Oil Beef Hooked. But then again, it requires a certain pronunciation to be properly understood.
Laws suggests we bloggers are all jealous of Slater. I think Cameron is pretty much spot on when he replies:
The only people I have earned censure and contempt from are pinkos, and even some of them are on my side, even if they just keep that quietly to themselves, but the emails of support and advice are enough to tell me that not all of the blogosphere are against me, just my methods.
In fact, I'll leave the rest of the detail to be discussed by Whale Oil himself: Whale Oil On Laws
Which is the response to: Laws on Whale Oil
He's definitely got the leftist bloggers down to a tee. Though i'm sure they regard deodorant as a CIA-Mossad-Bushco mind control device, not the devil’s snare.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, i like the pic, that's usually what one feels like doing when you use a windows pc for any length of time.
I hate pizza.
ReplyDeleteWell I have a wife and a wardrobe and did over 250 hours of tri training last year so dont fit that part. I have two brothers and am not really a fan of pizza.
ReplyDeleteLaws is being a bit of a plonker on this topic. He is just as much a blogger as we are. He just has a different forum to spread his view around and gets paid to do it.
Do we really care what Mr. Laws thinks? Indulging lazy generalizions such as that leads me to the conclusion that most mayors are sad little power freaks who can't keep their hands out of ratepayer's pockets...and have a vastly inflated idea of their own importance.
ReplyDelete"indulging in" that is. More coffee.
ReplyDeleteBesides, he left out beating the dog, strangling kittens and snorting coke. Not very observant, is he?
He's pretty close with my profile:
ReplyDeleteI like pizza, and apart from my sister, I'm an only child. The only thing that stops me smelling are my daily showers, so I skate pretty close to the edge there.
As he said - I don't have a partner (I got married, and therefore I have a wife not a partner), although I have managed to acquire a wardrobe. It was built into the bedroom.